Stephen Kuhn

I used to love snowshoeing. Nothing made me feel more alive than getting out into the snowy backcountry to explore the frozen beauty of God’s creation in the winter.

Once I bought backcountry skis though, I suddenly realized how lame snowshoeing really was.

Instead of trudging awkwardly down powder-loaded bowls, I now could float down them effortlessly. Instead of loading my heavy alpine boots into my pack while trudging up the mountain, I could climb with my skis on my feet, shaving 15 pounds off my pack load.

If someone had told me I would need to give up snowshoeing before I had discovered backcountry skiing, it would have broken my heart. I would have fought it passionately. My desire for the winter wilderness was too strong to ignore or overcome. But by discovering something infinitely better though, giving it up wasn’t even an issue. In fact, I forgot about my snowshoes altogether until recently when I dug them out to sell on Craigslist.

The same thing happens when you discover the true desire you are attempting to meet through pornography. Instead of fighting the temptation to look at porn, you will simply forget about it. I know this sounds too good to be true, but again, isn’t that why the Gospel is called the good news?

In order to do this though, you will need to do some digging around in your desires, and no one knows the true desires of your heart better than the One who redeemed it in the first place. The next time you feel drawn to look at porn, stop for a minute and ask Jesus what your real desire is. What are the deepest desires of my redeemed heart? What does my new nature truly desire? Ask Jesus, He knows.

Often times, especially at first, you will only find a fleshly desire driving you to pornography, and that’s okay. Recognizing this lack of a deeper desire can still help you see the temptation for what it truly is. Perhaps your desire to look at porn is the sexual equivalent of eating an entire box of Oreos. You’re not doing it because you are hungry, you’re doing it because you’re bored. You don’t actually desire food, you just want something to do.

Sometimes, you will discover a legitimate desire driving you towards pornography. Perhaps it’s the need for validation, the need for adventure, or the need for intimacy—all of which are legitimate needs that God has placed in your heart. You may discover your desire to look at pornography is an attempt at meeting one of these needs immediately rather than trusting God to fulfill that need eternally. Recognizing what your heart is truly desiring will hopefully encourage you to shift your mind back to the truth of Scripture, bringing your trust back to the faithfulness of God to meet your needs.

In reality, this process will be similar to peeling layers off of an onion. Each time you go through the exercise of discovering your true desire, you are likely to expose another layer of depth, bringing you to an even deeper understanding of your heart. Over time though, you will become quite skilled at recognizing your deepest desires. For that reason, I would encourage you to practice this process with all of your desires, not just pornography. For example, if I want a new jacket, I ask myself if it’s because I truly need it, or because I desire to look outdoorsy? When I post something on Facebook, is it because I truly believe it’s worth sharing, or because I desire to be seen as witty or interesting?

The more you come to recognize the true desires of your redeemed heart—the more you will desire the things of God and the less you will desire porn. Your view of pornography will start to line up with God’s view, allowing you to see porn for what it really is. You will begin to see the women in those movies as your sisters in Christ. Sisters who are deeply hurt and broken by their own sin and shame. Instead of lust, you will start to feel sadness and empathy for them as you more fully understand the situation they are in. Your desires will shift from objectifying them to praying for them. The idea of pornography as a sexual exercise will eventually become repulsive, saddening, and heart-breaking.

One day, you will suddenly realize that you are no longer fighting pornography because your new heart has stopped desiring it. Porn will become nothing more than a dusty pair of snowshoes sitting in your garage. Yeah, you thought it was fun at one time, but you’ve found something so much better now.

Unlike the band U2, you have finally found what you’re looking for.

So what is your heart truly looking for?