Biblical help and resources for men who struggle with porn addiction. The official website of Stephen Kuhn, author of 10 Lies Men Believe about Porn.
Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to overcoming pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.
Storyline: What if the Temptation to Be Impressive is
Keeping Us from Connecting?
Village Church: What Must I Do to be Saved?
There are many areas in my life where I need to remind myself daily to trust God’s leading instead of following whatever feels right to me at that moment. The biggest example is probably the decision to wait, pray, and remain committed to my ex-wife.
God has made it clear to me through a variety of ways that He wants me to leave the door open for the possibility of reconciliation. All throughout scripture I see God restoring what is broken rather than creating something new. I hear the command to love my wife as Christ loved the church, and He continued to love the church even as they rejected Him over and over. Ultimately, God has put His unconditional love in my heart for her—which means my love for her is not conditional on her returning any love back to me.
If I am being honest though, there are many days where I am tempted to listen to my friends when they tell me it’s time to move on. Sometimes, if I find myself becoming interested in a girl I know, my mind starts to wander into what-if situations. I begin to justify in my mind why it makes more sense for me to start dating again. After all, what happens if my wife remains single for ten years and then marries someone else? At that point, I’ll probably be old(er) and bald(er) and wouldn’t be able to find a girl to date even if I wanted to.
But God never promised me we would get back together—He only asked me to wait for her. So for all I know, the good in my life He is orchestrating through this time of waiting may be something completely different from the restoration of our marriage.
Perhaps He knew I would never have the time to write a book if I were married. Maybe His purpose is for my divorce to be an example to other men of how much pornography can cost them. I don’t know.
What I do know, is even if God doesn’t bring us back together, He’s doing something good through my waiting. And trusting that allows me to respond to Him with thankfulness rather than worrying about my life.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.
(Philippians 4:6–7).
So instead of worrying about whether or not I’m going to be single for the rest of my life, I leave it all in God’s hands, remember the ways He has taken care of me, and trust that He will continue to lead me down the best path for my life.
And that gives me peace.
Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to overcoming pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.
Village Church: How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex
R.C. Sproul: What Do Our Good Deeds Have to Do with Our Salvation?
Donald Miller: What to do When it Feels Like Everybody is Out to Get You
About once-a-month, on a Wednesday (hence the name: Worship Wednesdays), I will share one of my favorite albums I’ve been listening to. Most of these will be from NoiseTrade, the internet’s best source for free music downloads. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
Loud Harp is not just a collection of beautiful, worshipful songs. It is an experience from start to finish. The record has a cohesive nature that allows the listener to really take in its simple and truthful message. When Asher begins to sing it is reminiscent of the soul and honesty of Peter Gabriel’s voice, all the while accompanied by Dave Wilton’s sweeping rhythmic lines and wonderful counter melodies.
—The Music Bed
Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to overcoming pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.
Desiring God: How Should Teenagers Handle Relationships with the Opposite Sex?
Covenant Eyes: 4 Ways Porn Kills Great Sex in Marriage
Jamie the Very Worst Missionary: Guard Your Heart, Bro
Broken Top | Quote by Brennan Manning
Unless you’ve been living in a box for the past few weeks, you’ve probably heard about the new Superman movie: Man of Steel. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend you get to a theater and check it out.
It’s no secret that the Superman story is heavily influenced by the life of Jesus. Both men willingly set aside their superiority in order to experience life as a human being. Both men came to Earth with unbelievable powers, yet chose to use them for the good of others rather than their own gain. Ultimately, both men were willing to sacrifice everything in order to save mankind.
The main difference between the two, is that Superman is a fictional character, and Jesus Christ is the living Son of God.
I tend to geek out on theological parallels in movies, which is perhaps why I also enjoyed the Lord of the Rings movies so immensely. What touched me the most in Man of Steel though, wasn’t the way that Superman modeled Jesus and His miraculous power. I was impressed with the way He modeled Jesus in His humility and humanity.
The first scene that stood out to me, which modeled his humility, was when Superman was detained by the military—in handcuffs. Obviously, the only reason Superman was even in handcuffs was he allowed it to happen, which he makes clear a few minutes later as he snaps the handcuffs like a piece of thread. Yet, even after displaying his strength, he continued to remain in their custody voluntarily.
It reminded me of the time when Jesus was being arrested. Peter pulled his sword out to defend him, but Jesus just asked him to put his sword away. He then goes on to tell Peter:
Don’t you realize that I could ask my Father for thousands of angels to protect us, and he would send them instantly? But if I did, how would the Scriptures be fulfilled that describe what must happen now? (Matthew 26:53–54)
Jesus knew the guards had no power to stop Him, yet He still chose to willingly put aside His infinite power and humbly surrender to them. Likewise, the entire time He was being tortured on the cross, He was a single prayer away from that very same army of angels coming down to set Him free from His pain. Jesus knew this full well. But He also knew He was the only one who had the power to rescue us from our sin and fulfill the role God had called Him to fulfill.
In the same way that Superman willingly surrendered to the military, Jesus willingly surrendered to death—not because He had been overpowered, but because His love for us was so overpowering.
The other scene that touched me, and reminded me of the humanity of Jesus, took place when Superman was still a young boy. He hadn’t learned yet how to control his superior senses, which often resulted in him becoming overstimulated and causing panic attacks. This particular time, it overwhelmed him so much that he locked himself in a closet to drown out the world. No one was able to calm him down, so they asked his mother to come to the door to try to talk to him.
Clark Kent: The world’s too big, Mom.
Martha Kent: Then make it small. Focus on my voice.
Pretend it’s an island out in the ocean. Can you see it?
When I heard that line, it was as if God was speaking to me directly.
If Jesus had to rely on My voice when His world got too big,
you will need to do the same.
I obviously recognize that I’m not Jesus, and no amount of spandex will ever make me Superman. I’m just a normal guy. Which is why the only way I will ever have any hope of making it through the seasons where the world seems to big—those times where life is overwhelming—is to focus on the voice of God to make the world smaller. If I keep looking at the big picture and all the steps I’ll have to take, I’ll get overwhelmed. If, however, I listen for God to just tell me the next step and focus on Him rather than my problems, it becomes easier to trust that He really will get me through.
Jesus recognized his need to be connected to His Father throughout His entire earthly ministry. He knew how dependent He was for God to direct His every move. And if Jesus (who was fully God as well as fully man) needed that support, how much more will we need it?
So go and see Man of Steel. And as you watch it, remember, Jesus willingly set aside His power, submitting to death on the cross and setting you free. And if you have trusted in His work on the cross to give you life, you have full access to God and can boldly come to Him whenever your world feels too big.
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me… (John 10:27–28)
Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to overcoming pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.
Covenant Eyes: A Marriage Damaged by Porn—A Pastor’s Reflections
Steve McVey: Loving Indiscriminately
Focus on the Family: Maintaining Sexual Purity, Part 1 (video)
Focus on the Family: Maintaining Sexual Purity, Part 2 (video)
Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to overcoming pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.
The Village Church: Man of Steel, Man of Sorrows
Jamie the Very Worst Missionary: Sex, Part 2—Why Wait?
Understand your brain and break porn habits in 90 days.
Scientists are continually discovering new and exciting information on how our brains change through repetitive behaviors, and how these changes can contribute to addictions. The Porn Circuit goes into great detail to explain these changes without becoming overwhelming. The book clearly and easily describes how certain chemicals and hormones interact in ways that encourage certain behaviors, and how repeating these behaviors creates “paths of least resistance” that we are more likely to follow.
The only downside I could find with this book is its focus on finding freedom through behavior modification alone. I personally believe there is a very real spiritual element to addiction that is not covered in this eBook, but I also recognize that is not the focus of the book so it should not be expected. That being said, I would encourage any reader to prayerfully compare the behavior-based approach to freedom presented in this book with the freedom-in-Christ path we see in the Bible.
Science shows us that acting out with pornography taps into our powerful neurochemistry, and this can quickly lead a person to use porn habitually. Much like a drug, the chemicals that fire when watching porn cause the brain to increasingly crave it until eventually it can feel almost impossible to break free.
In this e-book, you’ll learn:
