Stephen Kuhn

Stephen Kuhn has been leading recovery groups, speaking at college campuses, and providing free online counseling through Belt of Truth Ministries ever since he got steamrolled by Jesus and set free from the chains of porn addiction. His passion is to allow God to use the story of redemption in his life to encourage other men to seek healing through the work of Christ as well.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to overcoming pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.


SammyA: Why Having a Shield of Faith was Sending Me to Hell

DailyMail.UK: Experiment that convinced me online porn is the most pernicious threat facing children today

The Village Church: Should Dating or Engaged Couples Live Together?

Grace…What’s in a Name?

The following is an article I recently wrote for the men’s newsletter at my church. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Grace. It’s the name of our church, yes, but why? Have you ever stopped and thought what Grace actually is, what it means in your life, or why our church is named after this single word? Grace is mentioned 170 times in the Bible, the Apostle Paul ends every one of his letters offering a blessing of Grace, and above all, we are told that “it is by Grace that you have been saved…” (Ephesians 2:8). Obviously this is a hugely important word. But what is Grace?

Grace is a hard word to define because it encompasses so much meaning into one single word. My favorite definition of Grace is one I heard from a pastor in Portland a few years back:

[Grace is] the lavish, opulent, raw, untamed, scandalous blessing of God—unearned, undeserved, illogical, disproportionate—poured out through Christ, over every facet of your life, and the living presence of the Creator God deep inside you, poured out through the Spirit, in a flood of euphoric joy, transcendent peace, and limitless power, to be…and do…and live up to God’s calling on your life.

Wrapped up in this single word is so much life-giving truth: The fact that God loves us no matter how undeserving we all are…His desire to bless us beyond our wildest dreams…His presence and power within us, at all times, empowering us to live out the life He has called us to…His never ending, never stopping, always, and forever love.

Grace wordsWhen you start to understand God’s Grace not just in your head, but in your heart, everything in your life changes. There is an unbelievable amount of peace and joy that comes from knowing God has chosen to adopt you as His son, to love you regardless of how well you are measuring up (because none of us ever will measure up), and to enable you to walk in the path He has laid out for you through His power and not your own. When you realize you don’t need to strive to get your stuff together before you can walk with God, but start to see how He loves you right where you are (even at your lowest point), and is patiently waiting for you to invite Him to walk through your stuff with you—that is when freedom begins. Suddenly, all the self-effort you have been trying to muster up to manage your issues and control your life is freed up, giving you new energy to love others with the same love you are experiencing daily from your Father in Heaven.

My favorite aspect of God’s Grace—the part that has made the biggest impact in my daily life—is realizing that it’s okay to not be okay. I think deep down, every man is afraid that He’s not good enough or that he doesn’t have what it takes to live up to a certain standard. Often times, men will strive hard to meet this imaginary standard, frequently trying to hide the less-than-desirable parts about their lives from others so they can at least “appear” to have it all together. It’s exhausting, and they know it isn’t working. It usually results in one of two tragic outcomes: a life of shame that comes from feeling like a failure, or simply walking away from the church and from God because it doesn’t seem to be working. But if you realize God loves you just as you are…right now…no matter how “good” you are being today, and there is nothing you can do (or not do) to ever make Him love you any more or any less—it frees you from your fear of not measuring up. You start to realize that God knew all along you would be right where you are at this point in time, and He still chose to send Jesus to take care of your sins on the cross. God never expected perfection from us—He knew we would always be human and would desperately need a Savior. The only thing required of you is to trust that your sinful nature has in fact been crucified with Christ and you are now free to live life out of your new nature. And because none of us have it all together, it’s okay to be honest with one another about our struggles and come out of hiding and striving in isolation. Grace allows us come alongside our brothers, share our lives with them on a soul-level, and experiencing the love of Christ in our lives together.

So, if our actions have nothing to do with how much God loves us, I can just go ahead and sin all I want and still get into heaven because nothing can stop God’s love for me, right? Well, let me ask you this: If your wife told you she loved you so much she would be willing to forgive you of anything, no matter what, and it would never cause her to reject you or to stop loving you, would you respond by constantly sinning against her and taking advantage of her goodness, or would it cause you to want to love her back even more? When you start to experience God’s unconditional love for you, walking in the light becomes the natural response of your heart. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). You no longer have to strive to manage your sin because your new heart will desire to follow God’s ways naturally. Your actions will flow from your love of God, not your attempt at controlling sin. This same love will also empower you to Love others where they’re at and help them follow Jesus. This is what it means to be “Men of Grace.”
10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to overcoming pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.


Entertainment Weekly: The Real Don Jons-How online porn has affected a generation

Desktop Wallpaper: John Day Painted Hills, quote by C.S. Lewis

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

John Day Painted Hills | Quote by C.S. Lewis

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to overcoming pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.


The Village Church: Repent of Your Goodness

PopChassid: I Didn’t Love My Wife when We Got Married

Desiring God: 14 Free eBooks

What Mr. Miyagi Can Teach Us about Overcoming Pornography Addiction

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am a child of the 80s. And like most boys from that decade, I grew up with a passion for G.I. Joes, Transformers, Legos, and Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books. But if there was one thing that I’m willing to bet every boy from my generation was into, it would have to have been the movie Karate Kid.

One could argue that no movie inspired the boys from my generation more than Karate Kid. The story of an underdog maturing into a mighty warrior awakened something in our young male hearts. My friends and I would tie bandanas around our foreheads and wrap belts around our waists, pretending to be Karate warriors. We would spend hours practicing crane kicks on the playground, imagining we were fighting the evil Cobra-Kai. What it really all came down to, is every one of us boys wanted to learn how to fight just like Daniel-San.

Mr. MiyagiIn the movie, Daniel-San approaches an elderly man from Okinawa named Mr. Miyagi, and asks him to teach him Karate. Mr. Miyagi agrees to train him as long as he does whatever is asked of him without question. Daniel-San agrees, but quickly starts to regret that decision. Instead of being taught how to fight, his time with Mr. Miyagi is spent painting fences, waxing cars, and sanding floors. Daniel-San begins to feel as if Mr. Miyagi is only using him for free labor.

In a moment of frustration, Daniel-San asks Mr. Miyagi why he isn’t teaching him Karate like he promised. Mr. Miyagi responds by telling Daniel-San to show him “wax-the-car.” As Daniel-San performs the same hand motion he has done hundreds of times while waxing the car, Mr. Miyagi throws a punch at him. Instinctively, Daniel-San uses that same hand motion to effectively block the incoming attack. In that moment, Daniel-San realizes that these seemingly unrelated chores he had been doing were actually teaching him how to fight on an instinctive level. Even though Daniel-San didn’t realize it at the time, Mr. Miyagi had been teaching him Karate all along.

In the same way, the truths in this book may appear to be unrelated to your struggle with pornography addiction. Concepts such as understanding who you are in Christ or how God loves you unconditionally will sometimes appear to be no more helpful than learning how to wax a car, tempting you to give up out of frustration. But let me encourage you to keep trusting these truths of Scripture. Trust that Jesus, much like Mr. Miyagi, knows what tactics you need to learn to be prepared for this fight better than you do.

Remember, this battle we fight is real. You really do have an adversary. But instead of scissor-kicks and dragon-punches, his favorite way to attack you is with lies. And the only way to defend against these lies isn’t with power, it’s with truth:

  • When he tells you that your addiction defines you, you block his punch by trusting who God says you are.
  • When he points out that you are the only one dealing with pornography on this level, you dodge his accusation by honestly sharing your struggles with other trusted brothers.
  • When he tries to drop-kick shame directly into your soul, it will glance off without a scratch if you are trusting God’s unconditional love and acceptance of you.
  • When he tries to convince you to accept an invitation back into his dojo through bitterness, you deny him because you trust that your Sensei is taking care of you.
  • When he tells you that your mistakes have made you ineligible for the tournament, you take your spot in the ring proudly, trusting that Jesus believes you are ready because He is the One who signed you up.

If you want to be prepared for this fight, you must paint the fence and wax the car daily. And by that I mean practicing the art of trusting these Biblical truths. The more you practice trusting them, the more they become your automatic response to temptation. Your battles will no longer require you to fight in your own power because your trust in Jesus has already set you free.

That, my friend, is the true and lasting freedom that Christ promises you.

Embrace Him.

Trust Him.

Be free.


This has been an excerpt from my book, 10 Lies Men Believe about Porn, available now wherever books are sold.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Welcome to our New Site!

Tent Camping

Well, it’s official. The new site is live.

We’re done wandering in the wilderness and dwelling in tents. Not that tents are a bad thing, they’re just…temporary. And we’re much more interested in having a permanent spot to call home.

Not only that, but thanks to our new servers, we can do lots of cool new things like:

  • A fancy new design with faster load times, better image quality, and easier readability.
  • Mobile integration (Yes, Mr. Bond, you can check us out on your phone)
  • Mailing list subscription (Be sure to sign up and stay in touch)
  • Enhanced security (Bring it on hackers! Actually, please don’t)
  • A bookstore (coming soon) where you can buy our books directly at HUGE discounts!

Take a look around and check things out. Send me an email question for a future post. Download some free music or desktop wallpaper. If you haven’t done so already, sign up for our monthly newsletter.

So yeah, I’m excited, and I hope you are as well.

And now that we’re back up and running, you can expect us to resume with our normal schedule of posting beginning next week.

Thanks again for hanging with us. You guys are awesome.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to overcoming pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.


Joe Thorn: Confession Connects Us to Christ

Freedom in Christ Ministries: Complete Repentance

Why am I Not Prospering in My Walk with God?

Today’s guest post is by Dr. Neil Anderson of Freedom in Christ Ministries. Dr. Neil’s ministry has been instrumental in my own journey to recovery from pornography, specifically his book The Bondage Breaker. For that reason, I have always had a soft spot in my heart for his ministry. I am honored to be able to share with you one of his recent posts from his Discipleship Counseling blog.

I encourage you to familiarize yourself with the work Freedom in Christ Ministries is doing to help set people free through the power of Christ.

Seek First

While teaching at Talbot School of Theology a young lady called me from the other side of the country asking for help. She said that she had deep personal problems and was plagued by condemning and blasphemous thoughts. I said I would give her a half day (an offer I can’t make anymore) if she wanted to fly to California.

She had some deep spiritual issues. I was glad the airplane stayed in the air with her in it! After she shared her story she quoted 3 John 2, “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health.” Why isn’t God doing that for me, she asked? I said, I think you need to finish the verse, which reads, “just as your soul prospers.” You have had two abortions, and have tried three times to kick a drug addiction. I remember thinking at the time that the verse was working!

Jesus Loves You

Photo by Jurijus Azanovas

God wants your soul to prosper first. Then everything else falls into order. The same reasoning follows for Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Isn’t that great Christian?  God is going to give you the desires of your heart. That is a promise of God. Claim it now and if it doesn’t happen you are not believing hard enough! What rubbish! You are supposed to delight yourself in the Lord first, then He will give you the desires of your heart. If you don’t do that first, your desires will be springing from your flesh, and you will never be able to satisfy those desires. The more you try, the more the flesh grows. If you delight yourself in the Lord, your desires will change. You will desire love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, which is the fruit of the Spirit. What has more value to you than the fruit of the Spirit?

Suppose you told your son to mow the lawn and he didn’t do it. His rebellious nature has caused a rift between the two of you. Then he says, Hey Dad, I have a hot date tonight. I need the keys to the car, and twenty dollars. Would you give him the keys and the twenty dollars? Would God? I don’t think so. I believe God would look very lovingly at His son and say, You need to get right with me first, mow the lawn like I asked, and then we will talk about your “hot date.” If the son actually did that, he may realize the “hot date,” isn’t the best idea after all.

You can find the original post here.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, we roundup the best links, articles, and videos we find that are relevant to overcoming pornography addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with everything in the linked article. It just means we found it interesting enough to share.


Village Church: Lies Christians Believe, Part 2

Freedom in Christ Ministries: Free at Last

Experimental Theology: In Humility, Hold Others Above Yourself