Stephen Kuhn

Stephen Kuhn has been leading recovery groups, speaking at college campuses, and providing free online counseling through Belt of Truth Ministries ever since he got steamrolled by Jesus and set free from the chains of porn addiction. His passion is to allow God to use the story of redemption in his life to encourage other men to seek healing through the work of Christ as well.

Top 10 Websites to Help You Overcome Pornography Addiction

Top Ten ListBelieve it or not, we’re not the only site on the internet dedicated to helping others find freedom from pornography addiction. Some may see these other sites as the competition, but I see them as members of the same team. So, for that reason, I would like to share with you ten sites that I personally follow and whole-heartedly recommend. These top 10 websites have been helpful in my own journey from pornography addiction, and I trust they will be equally helpful in yours as well.


1. XXXChurch

These guys are amazing. They offer articles, resources, self-assessment tests, accountability, and even filtering software. I thoroughly enjoy the various blogs found throughout the site, and am constantly encouraged by their stories of others finding freedom from pornography addiction. (Full disclosure: I do write for them from time to time.)

2. Freedom in Christ Ministries

Dr. Neil T. Anderson focuses on educating and equipping those who struggle with addictions by helping them better understand what true spiritual freedom looks like. My own journey to freedom began while reading The Bondage Breaker, one of Dr. Anderson’s Books.

3. Samson Society

A nationwide network of men who have chosen to come out of isolation and share their lives with one another. I highly recommend joining a Samson Group, as recovery becomes much more likely when you enter into a community of trusted brothers. Their Pirate Monk Radio podcast is one of my favorites.

4. TrueFace

TrueFace is dedicated to teaching “the original good news” of the Gospel. Their message of God’s grace and unconditional love changed my entire view of God, setting me free from the behavior-based religiosity that was contributing to my addiction.

5. Ransomed Heart

Freedom from addiction isn’t an outside-in transformation (IE: change your behavior in order to change your heart), it’s an inside-out transformation. Once your heart comes alive to Christ, your behavior will take care of itself. The ministry of Ransomed Heart is dedicated to helping men (and women) discover their true hearts and awakening them to the adventure God has called them into.

6. Route 1520 (Undone Redone)

Route1520 is built on the firm belief that individuals cannot change through mere willpower or simply learning Biblical principles and trying to carry them out. They believe that change takes place in community as we take the Gospel of Jesus Christ more deeply into our understanding and into our hearts. This process is a journey and not a quick-fix formula.

7. Setting Captives Free

Offers free online courses and materials to assist you in your journey to freedom, whether it be from pornography, over-eating, gambling, or any other addiction.

8. Your Brain on Porn

Focuses on the scientific approach to understanding the effects of pornography on the brain. If you like to geek out on stuff like dopamine-signaling, this is the site for you.

9. Covenant Eyes

One of the best things you can do as you start your recovery journey is to remove as much access to temptation as possible, and putting a filter in place is a great way to do so. On top of that, the accountability features make it easy to establish honest community with others you trust to walk with you on this path.

10. Dirty Girls Ministries

Not all porn users are men, and the percentage of female users is growing alarmingly fast. Dirty Girls Ministries exists to provide these women with help, hope, and healing from pornography and sexual addiction.

Are there other sites that you would you recommend?

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Shaunti Feldhahn: Spill Out Your Secrets To Fill Up Your Marriage

“When it comes to marriage, you truly get what you give.  By giving trust and being willing to share your secrets, you will, over time, fill up your marriage.

Relevant: Porn Is Not Just a Man’s Problem

“Even the Church at large has had a role in the double-standard by pushing sermons, messages and ministries encouraging men to deal with their lust, porn and sexual immorality. But what about women?”

Beyond Evangelical: How to Respond to the World’s Narrative

“The challenge today, then, is to follow the despised craftsman from Nazareth who was the friend of sinners on the one hand, but who was separate from sinners on the other, even speaking unpopular truth to power.

XXXChurch: 5 Signs That You Are Addicted

“I think deep down I always knew I was addicted, even if I didn’t admit it to myself, but there were certainly a lot of signs if I had just been alert enough to see them. Here are five.”

Brian Sumner: I Am Second

“DONE.” is finally done! Download your free copy today.

Done Cover Mockup

This is it folks! My new book, DONE. 52 Amazing Things That Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christis available now as a free download on Noisetrade:

DOWNLOAD YOUR COPY HERE

You can choose from multiple formats depending on your eReader of choice (Kindle, iPad, PDF), however, if you’re like me and you prefer a good old-fashioned paperback, you can pick up a copy of the print book on Amazon.

And be sure to hop back over to Amazon when you’re done reading DONE. to leave a review. That’s the single best thing you can do to help get this book into the hands of others who may still need to be told about the amazing things that happen to them when they trust Jesus.

Either way, I do hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.

P.S. The book will only be free through the end of August, so be sure to download it right away!

My One Thing: Mark Laaser

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give
to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

Dr. Mark Laaser is the director of Faithful and True and author of multiple books, including his groundbreaking book, Healing The Wounds of Sexual Addiction, and the 3-book Men of Valor series.

Connect with Dr. Laaser:

Ministry: http://www.faithfulandtrue.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Faithful-True

Twitter: @MarkLaaser

Dr. Laaser’s Books:

Healing The Wounds of Sexual Addiction

Becoming a Man of Valor

The 7 Principles of Highly Accountable Men

Taking Every Thought Captive

Talking to Your Kids About Sex

The Pornography Trap

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview


Check out all the “One Thing” video interviews here.


Transcript

Steve: Hey guys! Steve here with Belt of Truth Ministries. I’m here with Dr. Mark Laaser, director of Faithful and True, and author of 10 books, including his groundbreaking book Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction, and also the 3-book Men of Valor series. Dr. Laaser, if I could ask you, what’s the one piece of advice you’d give to someone struggling with pornography addiction?

Mark: I’ve been thinking about this and it’s really kind of hard to narrow it down but primarily, the average guy that’s struggling with pornography addiction is struggling with it in silence. In other words, they’re not telling anyone if they’re married. They’re certainly not telling their wives. If they’re not married, they really never probably talked to anybody about this. If I had to narrow it down to one piece of advice, I simply say get honest and get honest early. The earlier you can get honest, the sooner you’ll find the help and community you need to get yourself free from this problem. Most of us grew up and we started looking at porn somewhere in our childhood adolescence. We didn’t have anybody to talk to. Our fathers, our mothers weren’t generally talking to us. The church wasn’t talking to us about this kind of stuff. We just kind of learn to keep it to ourselves. We may have been teasing each other about it at school or someplace like that, but we certainly weren’t having intelligent or helpful conversations about it. We kind of learn to stuff this.

I would say the one piece of advice is find someone who you can talk to who at least understands enough about this to direct you to more help. One of the things to think about when you start getting honest is that you’ll find a lot more community and I think one of the main ways out of pornography or any other form of sexual addiction is to be involved in Christian community, men who share the same values that you do, the same vision that you do, the same sense of God’s commandments that you do so that they can be encouragers. I think another thing people don’t understand about getting honest is that I think when you get honest with community, you’re going to want people to hold you accountable to the things you want not to do, but also they’re encouragers. They’re going to be people who push you toward your vision of what is healthy. That’s getting honest because I’ve always said that the greatest enemy of sexual health is silence.

Steve: I think that’s a great advice. I agree fully. Thank you for sharing that with us. Tell people where they can find out more about you online.

Mark: Sure. We have a website here. It’s faithfulandtrue.com. All of our books, resources, we have a weekly radio podcast, that kind of thing. If you want to find out more about that or any of our programs, just go to that website.

Steve: Okay, great. Thanks again Dr. Laaser. I appreciate your time and good luck in your ministry.

Mark: You too. Thank you.

Steve: Thank you.

Smart Quote: Timothy Keller

“Look at Jesus Christ. Every time he was in trouble he used the Word of God. When he was tempted he used the Word. When he was suffering on the cross he used the Word.” —Timothy Keller

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Gospel Coalition: How God Broke My Goodness Addiction

“God, through the book of Galatians, had begun showing me how little I truly understood of the gospel. Instead of the true gospel, I was living by what Paul called the ‘perverted’ gospel, one of works and dead religion.

Covenant Eyes: Intimacy is not spelled S-E-X

“The greatest level of intimacy for a husband and wife lies in the soul. When you are both individually centering your lives on Christ and your souls are connecting at the spiritual level, intimacy with your wife can beyond what you thought possible.”

Relevant: 4 Signs You Might be Legalistic

“Things haven’t changed much. We, just like the ancient believers, have a hard time with simple trust and often find ourselves caught in the clutches of legalism. After years of following Jesus, I found myself stuck in legalism. Trust me, I know: the struggle is real. But, like most things, one of the first steps of becoming free from legalism is to realize that you’re stuck in it.

ROAM: Why I’m Not Worried About Being Wrong, and You Don’t Need To Be Either

“I believe that I have the freedom to be wrong. I believe that the Gospel gives us the freedom to fail.”

Trip Lee: All My Love

My One Thing: Justin “on-a-journey”

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give
to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

Justin is one of the moderators for the No Fap Christians community on reddit.

Connect with Justin:

Ministry: www.nofapchristians.reddit.com

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview


Check out all the “One Thing” video interviews here.


Transcript

Steve: Hey guys! Steve here with Belt of Truth Ministries. I’m on the line with Justin, or as he’s known on Reddit, u/on-a-journey. Justin is one of the moderators for the no fap Christians community on Reddit. Justin, thanks for joining us.

Justin: Thanks for having me. I’m glad to be here.

Steve: Yeah. So what’s the one piece of advice that you would give to somebody struggling with porn addiction?

Justin: It’s a tough question. I’ve thought a lot about it. I think the biggest thing that I’ve found in the past 2 years, now that I’ve been doing Reddit and talking with people, is to really take a holistic approach in how you handle porn and how you handle this addictive area in your life, it’s not just putting up a blocker on your computer or on your phone, it’s not just getting rid of the cell phone at night, it’s not just reading your bible. It’s everything coming together and having this mentality from the beginning, lights on, in the day of I want to get through this. I want to be in control of my will and in control of who I am to lights out and everything that you do during the day, whether it be controlling your thoughts or going for a jog or praying 30 seconds here or there or reading the scripture. It’s really important that you get mind, body, heart, and spirit all working together to conquer this one area. And I think when you find that you conquered this area and you say that I’m in control of myself, my body, then you’ll find that not only does this become easier but a lot of other areas where self-control and discipline are an issue, you’ll find help and you’ll find that these things are a lot easier. So I think definitely holistic, and part of the holistic there, I think a lot of the secular area leaves out is spiritual, so make sure you’re praying and reading your scripture and really just soaking in as much time with God as you can, because I think really that’s our biggest ally as well when it comes to beyond ourselves, is really getting into the spiritual side. Just the holistic point of view is what I found has been really powerful for me.

Steve: Great! Well thanks for sharing that with us. Tell people where they can find out more about what you’re doing online.

Justin: Yeah. You can find me. I’m, like you said, u/on-a-journey. You’ll see me in the moderator’s area but you can find us at nofapchristians.reddit.com or as the more normal reddit.com/r/nofapchristians. That’s where I can be found and the other moderators I have there. We’re always growing and I’ll be excited to have new people come on and share their stories and help us grow and help their brothers and sisters who are struggling with this area.

Steve: I’ll vouch for that. As we all know, Reddit can be an interesting place to say the least, but the no fap Christians sub-reddit is a great community. I love hanging out there when I have some time on lunch breaks and whatever, and there’s just a lot of great conversation, a lot of great help and support going on there. We’ll be sure to link to all that. Everybody check out Reddit. Just be careful there.

Justin: Yeah. Bringing light from the darkness is the way we see it with Reddit.

Steve: Absolutely, yeah great.

Justin: Awesome.

Steve: Thanks again for your time, Justin.

Justin: Thank you so much.

 

Smart Quote: Søren Kierkegaard

Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him, for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low, could still be saved; the bitterest enemy and also he who was your friend could again be your friend; love that has grown cold can kindle. ―Søren Kierkegaard

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Book Review: Love Hunger

“A Harrowing Journey from Sexual Addiction to True Fulfillment.”

David Kyle Foster’s life is proof that no one could ever run so far away from God that He would no longer be able to reach them.

David was raised in the church from an early age but never truly felt loved by those around him. This hunger for acceptance led him to pursue fame as a Hollywood actor, but it also led him into some of the darkest corners of Los Angeles where he became ensnared by prostitution, pornography, and cultic practices.

His life may have appeared to be the perfect hollywood dream on the outside, but internally he was trapped in a nightmare he couldn’t get away from.

After multiple attempts on his life—some by others, some by himself—David finally began to trust the love of his Heavenly Father to set him free from the bondage of his double life. From that point on, his life took an amazing turn towards the healing and freedom he continues to walk in to this day.

I found David’s story to be one of the most inspiring examples of God’s never-ending pursuit of a man I’ve ever read. No matter where you are on your journey, I believe Love Hunger will give you a deeper understanding of God’s relentless love towards you and all who are struggling to find their way in this world.


Purchase Love Hunger on Amazon today!


Highlighting My Highlights:

I’m one of those guys who can’t read a book without a highlighter in my hand, and as far as I’m concerned, it would be a shame to mark up my favorite content and never share it with you. With that in mind, here are some of my favorite quotes from Love Hunger:

“Bracing for the worst, I let it fly. In a torrent of white-hot honesty, I let God know how much I hated Him for all the painful things I had experienced in my life. Exposed and unguarded before God for perhaps the first time, I fully expected a harsh reply, or at best the same sort of lengthy sermon that Job had received. Instead, I was stunned as God hit me with a wave of love. I could literally feel the wave wash over me, and I was for quite some time rendered speechless.

Finally, I mustered, ‘I just told You how much I hated You. Why did you just hit me with a wave of love?’

His reply: ‘You’ve finally been honest with Me. Now I can help you.’

In some cosmically mysterious way, in spite of my insufferable ignorance and disrespect, the greater good was the honesty. God could handle the anger, but He would do nothing without the honesty. That was a tremendous breakthrough moment for me that bore fruit for decades to come.”

“I pretended not to hear and continued committing the sin. When I was finished, to my utter shock, the Lord spoke to me again, saying, ‘David, if you turn to me right now, I will love you, forgive you, and embrace you.”

The second time He said it, He used the same positive, loving, and inviting tone for the first time. It blew all my circuits. I was stunned! I had just ignored the Lord of all glory and had chosen a pathetic sin instead of Him. Yet He was still offering the same love and grace as before—and without the slightest change in His attitude toward me. It was a glimpse of the flawless grace of the Holy One.

Clearly, God was not someone I had to hide from. He did not look on my in disgust when I chose an idolatrous behavior over His glory. He was not trying to spoil my fun or take something good from me. He loved me, He loved me, He loved me! And there was nothing I could do to change that.

I said to Him, ‘Lord, if this is what You are really like, I want to follow You!’ In that moment, I went from obeying Him because I was supposed to, to obeying Him because I wanted to. It was grace teaching me to say no to ungodliness.”

“Our goal must never be perfect behavior, and the means must never be our own wisdom and power. The goal is to know God and be transformed by that relationship. Revelation and freedom come as a byproduct of intimacy with Him.”

“Surprisingly, living free from bondage is not the sign that we have discovered God’s way of escape. Most people ‘in recovery’ achieve some measure of progress in maintaining their sobriety by following the rules of their program. But to the degree that they see results by following that program, their sense of a need for God diminishes. What they end up with is a maintenance program based on self-effort rather than the transformation that God wants to give them.”


Purchase Love Hunger on Amazon today!


Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Tim Challies: When God Flips That Switch

“The point and the purpose is simple. When we take action, we find only destruction. When God begins to move, we are given grace.

CCEF: Inside Out—Lessons in Sadness, Sonship, and Prodigals

“Our emotions do all kinds of things. But perhaps most importantly, they are meant to alert us to the brokenness of life and drive us to cry out to our loving Father through the Spirit of the Son. They drive us first and foremost into his arms, and then into the arms of one another.”

Relevant: Christians Shouldn’t Be Culture’s Morality Police

“Church, the world is watching us. They see the articles we float around the Internet, they read our billboards and bumper stickers, and for many outside of the Body, they feel one thing with crushing weight: judgment. There is no invitation in condemnation and no love in passive-aggressive battles fought along the lines of a newsfeed.

Storyline: Who You Should Date After a Hard Break Up

“I was having breakfast with a good friend when he told me that he’d just broken up with his girlfriend of several years. It had been a hard few weeks. During this time, he decided to take a break from dating for a while. Instead, he wanted to focus on growing his newfound relationship with Christ. However, he didn’t really know how to do that.”

C.S. Lewis: On “Sexual” Morality