Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Gospel Coalition: Ancient Wisdom for a Sexualized World

“In his new book The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption, Matt Chandler tackles an array of pertinent questions—both the ones we’re asking and the ones we should be. Working from Scripture’s erotic, covenantal love ballad The Song of Songs, Chandler helps us navigate landmine-laced terrain with timely wisdom and gospel grace.”

Desiring God: But God…

“’But God.’ These two words are overflowing with gospel. For sinners like you and me who were lost and completely unable to save ourselves from our dead-set rebellion against God, there may not be two more hopeful words that we could utter.”

Paul Robinson: Why Grace Means We are Free to Sin

“What if we truly believe that no matter what we do, that Grace is enough to set us free? That even if we spent everyday of our lives sinning over and over that we are still saved from sin? That no matter what we do we are still loved and always will be?”

Covenant Eyes: How to Raise a Porn Addict

“Now that the first of the Internet generation has entered adulthood, porn use has become more common than ever before. Old Internet filtering approaches aren’t enough anymore. Parents need to understand the problem and create an atmosphere of love and accountability in the home. The goal is not merely to keep kids safe online but train kids to become responsible adults.”

Macklemore: Starting Over

Book Review: Seriously?!

Seriously Front CoverI’ve been following Pastor Bob’s ministry for a few years now, mainly through his awesome YouTube channel: Pastor Bob Daily. So when he asked me to help him design his new book, Seriously?! Letters to Myself at 21, I immediately jumped on board.

The problem with trying to design a book like Seriously?! though, is I kept finding myself drawn into the words and stopping to read the book rather than merely formatting it.

Because Seriously?! is written as a collection of short letters, typically no longer than a paragraph or two, it ends up having the potato chip effect: “Just one more and then I’ll stop…”

But I couldn’t stop.

For example, check out this letter on sexuality and tell me you don’t want to read just one more:

The most important sex organ you have is your brain. That’s where it all begins. There are so many messages being thrown at you these days. Society expects you to experiment sexually. You are expected to become self-educated by creating your own experiences. Naiveté is considered immature. But actually, it’s not. You will never have to be an expert in this field. Marriage is an excellent school. Marriage provides a great paradigm for exploring and experiencing with your sexuality. You can learn together with the person you love the most and have an emotional and mental connection with—your spouse. Inside the paradigm of marriage you have security, freedom, and trust.”

Pastor Bob writes in a style that makes you feel like you’re siting across the table from a wise, older sage as he shares with you the lessons he’s learned throughout his own life. Only this sage has truly been in the trenches and ran with some colorful characters—think Gandalf, but with more tattoos.

As an example, just look at a few of the folks endorsing his book:

“Pastor Bob is a man of the street. His wisdom, philosophies & theology are a tremendous ministry to those who have lived ‘outside the box’ themselves.”
David Ellefson, MEGADEATH

“As I reflect back over twenty-six years of marriage, twenty-six years of walking with JESUS and traveling to twenty-six countries I am full of gratitude for this undeserved adventure. Although many have contributed, there is one Pastor/teacher that had the biggest impact on where I am today: Pastor Bob Beeman”.
Tracy A. Ferrie, BOSTON

You can add my name to the list of folks endorsing Pastor Bob and Seriously?! as well.

So, even if you’re far past your 21st birthday, I think you will get a lot out of Pastor Bob’s new book, Seriously?!.


Purchase Seriously?! today on Amazon


 

Amazon Description: Seriously?! is a collection of letters from Pastor Bob to his 21-year-old self. Direct. Transparent. Personal. And deeply intimate.

What if you could go back in time and meet yourself face-to-face four decades earlier?

What would you tell your younger self?

“There are so many things I’d like you to know… So many mistakes I wish you didn’t have to make. And so much wisdom I wish you would have had at 21. I’m excited to write these letters to you. I’ve learned so much. I’ve come so far. And in many ways, I’m just beginning… You feel like you know everything. You don’t think there is much anyone can teach you. You look at people with more age and maturity as being somewhat uninformed and unenlightened. You have the world by the tail, or so you think. But you are not enlightened, you are ill-informed, and the world will begin to get very confusing. And that will be the beginning of wisdom.”

Smart Quote: George Macdonald

“Man finds it hard to get what he wants, because he does not want the best; God finds it hard to give, because He would give the best, and man will not take it.” —George Macdonald

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Rey Reynoso: Eleven Reminders for Dealing with Sin

“On this side of eternity we will sin. I’m not saying we must sin. Sin is not necessary to human life but it is part of human life. On this side of eternity we will struggle with it. We will sin.”

Sammy Adebiyi: How to Mute Inadequacy

“The temptation is to run to self-help in a search for a cure to our inadequacy but Jesus offers us something bigger and better. He offers us grace. Grace is God saying I’ll let you bat even though you just went 0 for 23596. Grace is unmerited favor. Grace is God saying I’m always FOR you in spite of you. Grace is throwing us a party after we return home from wasting our lives.”

CCEF: The Hopeless Marriage

“I hate that hopelessness. The choices are to persist in the relationship and see who dies first or to craft an independent life and try to pretend you don’t care. Either way, your soul withers. It is hard to have a vibrant life with God when your primary relationship is in the dumper.”

The Story of Love: John 3:16

Smart Quote: Søren Kierkegaard

“And this is one of the most crucial definitions for the whole of Christianity; that the opposite of sin is not virtue but faith.” ―Søren Kierkegaard

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Desiring God: Lecrae Confesses Abortion, Invites Others into the Light

“Years down the line I was going through premarital, getting rid of pictures of my ex-girlfriends, to say my mind and my heart are focused on this woman here, and I don’t need any reminders of anything. And I came across her picture and I couldn’t throw it away. And my wife said, ‘Just throw it in the trash.’ I literally broke down over the guilt and the remorse and the shame of it all. That was the beginning of the healing process for me.”

Storyline: You Should Give Yourself a Little More Grace

“He also mentioned that it was important for people to have some grace toward themselves about behavior change. The idea is to keep moving forward, but when we slip up, simply plant our feet and keep moving, slowly, but further than the place where we slipped up before.”

Redemption Pictures: For They Shall See God

“What if being pure in heart isn’t about being void of traditional immoralities (lying, swearing, sex), but rather unadulterated by the darker demons that twist and corrupt love into something unrecognizable (fear, doubt, and all the little ways their horde robs the soul of its life)?”

The Porn Effect: An Open Letter From a Former Porn Star

“I was a ‘porn star’ for only six months but featured in over twenty films. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, and I’ve seen the reality of what the porn industry is really like. I think many people believe falsehoods about porn. Falsehoods which, if they knew them to be such, would probably try harder (or try at all) to stop watching porn.”

Lecrae, John Piper, & John Ensor: The Remorse of Abortion and the Healing of the Gospel of Christ

Smart Quote: John Piper

“God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.” —John Piper

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

How Jacob’s Humble Prayer can bring You Freedom from Addiction

The Prayer of Jacob

“The Prayer of Jacob,” by Gustav Doré

One of my favorite things about studying the Bible is how God can use a story I’ve read a dozen times to speak to me in a completely new way.

The most recent example of this came just the other day as I was reading the story of Jacob back in Genesis 32.

A bit of back story…

Jacob had just returned back to his homeland as the Lord had instructed him to do. As soon as he got there, he sent a few of his men to take a peace-offering to his brother, Esau, who lived nearby.

You see, there was some bad blood between Jacob and Esau, mainly because Jacob had cheated Esau out of both his birthright and his blessing. Jacob knew if he was going to live in close proximity to his brother again, it would be wise to attempt to reconcile their relationship.

Shortly after his men went out though, they returned with the following news:

“We met your brother, Esau, and he is already on his way to meet you—with an army of 400 men!” (Genesis 32:6)

Jacob was obviously freaked out by this. His first instinct—as it would be with many of us—was to protect himself and his family from the coming attack. He immediately took action and split his family into two camps so that “If Esau meets one group and attacks it, perhaps the other group can escape” (v. 7).

But then, once Jacob had done everything he could think of to protect himself (and probably recognized the futility of his efforts), he took his fear and concerns before God:

9 Jacob prayed, “O God of my grandfather Abraham, and God of my father, Isaac—O Lord, you told me, ‘Return to your own land and to your relatives.’ And you promised me, ‘I will treat you kindly.’ 10 I am not worthy of all the unfailing love and faithfulness you have shown to me, your servant. When I left home and crossed the Jordan River, I owned nothing except a walking stick. Now my household fills two large camps! 11 O Lord, please rescue me from the hand of my brother, Esau. I am afraid that he is coming to attack me, along with my wives and children. 12 But you promised me, ‘I will surely treat you kindly, and I will multiply your descendants until they become as numerous as the sands along the seashore—too many to count’” (Genesis 32:9-12).

Jacob’s Faith

Jacob begins his prayer by reflecting on the promises God has made to him:

Lord, you told me, “Return to your own land and to your relatives” (v. 9).

You promised me, “I will surely treat you kindly, and I will multiply your descendants until they become as numerous as the sands along the seashore—too many to count” (v. 12).

Jacob remembered how God had not only told him to move to this land, but He promised to take care of him and bless him with many descendants as well—neither of which would come to pass if he and his family were wiped out.

By reflecting back on, and choosing to believe the promises God made to him (faith), Jacob began to rest in the peace of trusting that God would surely get him through this upcoming trial.

Jacob’s Humility

Once Jacob focused his mind onto God’s faithfulness, he began to look back on all the ways God had come through for him already. He reflects on how God has blessed him far beyond what he ever deserved—not because he earned it, but because of God’s unfailing love and faithfulness.

By recognizing how all these blessings in his life had been undeserved gifts of God’s grace, it took his own worthiness, acceptance, and ability out of the equation.

This perspective of humility allowed Jacob to look toward the battle knowing it would be God’s power that would get him through. And trusting God’s strength is far more comforting than relying on his own.

Jacob’s Request

Finally, after pausing to reflect on God’s perfect track record, Jacob reached out to Him for help. He came to a point where he could truly say “Yes Lord, I believe,” and then asks God to save him as He has promised.

Jacob doesn’t sugar-coat his fear or minimize the situation. He doesn’t use big, fancy, ceremonial words. He doesn’t put on his nicest suit or light some incense. No, he simply comes before God and says, “Lord… Help. I’m scared. I don’t now what to do. I can’t handle this on my own…but You can. Help me… Please.”

And how did God respond? Well, let’s just say He came through on His promises.

How does this help me today?

You may not be facing an invading army, but if you’re hanging around this blog you’re probably being tempted by an enemy who’s just as powerful. The good news though, is the proper response remains the same: When trials come, run to God in prayer.

Remember the promises He has made to you, and the promises you have already seen Him fulfill.

Humbly recognize your brokenness and admit how much you need the power of Christ to get you through your struggles.

If you use Jacob’s prayer as a template, your prayer might look something like this:

Lord, you have promised me that You will never leave me and that You will never condemn me. You have declared that I am now a new creation—no longer a slave to the sin that is tempting me. You have also instructed me to “flee from sexual immorality,” and gave me the power to do so by placing your Spirit within me.

I recognize that I am not worthy of the unfailing love and kindness You have shown me. The gifts You have blessed me with—forgiveness, sonship, eternal life—are far beyond anything I deserve. I am incapable of winning this battle on my own. I need your strength, Lord.

Father, please rescue me from this addiction. Allow me to walk in the freedom you have promised me. Break these chains on me by Your power.

I give this battle to You, Lord. I trust You to lead me into victory as you have promised.

Thank You, Father. Amen.

•••

In the end, Jacob didn’t even have to fight the battle after all. God delivered him so completely it transformed his biggest fear into a celebration.

How great would it be if He did the same for you in your battle?

I, for one, believe that He can.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Joe Dallas: The Walking Wounded

“If I have any of that in me – any humility, any tenderness, any ability to connect – it sure didn’t come from a book. Or genes, or a seminar. It was born out of the times I was humiliated, passed over, ridiculed, rejected. The only reason I can say ‘I’ve been there’ to anyone else is because I have, and it wasn’t good. But dear Lord, did it ever turn out to be priceless.”

Stand to Reason: The Myth of Hate

“I realize I don’t speak for every Christian, but I know and have met a lot of Christians across the country. I’ve been travelling and specifically talking about this topic for over a decade. I’ve met Baptists, Lutherans, Catholics, Coptics, Presbyterians, Evangelicals, Seventh Day Adventists, Mennonites, Methodists, Anabaptists, Anglicans, Episcopalians, Orthodox, and others. Guess what? I don’t find they hate homosexuals. In fact, they’re often frustrated that no one believes them that they, as Christ commanded, love all people.”

Redemption Pictures: After Three Beers

“I want to be the person that I am after three beers. After three beers, I am unafraid. I dance without thinking about how I look, without trying to remember what my feet should be doing…”

Jefferson Bethke: Porn—Human Trafficking at Your Finger Tips

Smart Quote: Bono

“A heart that is broken is a heart that is open.” —Bono

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.