DONE: You Have Been Identified as God’s Own

[God] has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts as the first installment that guarantees everything he has promised us (2 Corinthians 1:22).

One of my first experiences with an installment plan came back in the mid-90s when I purchased my first car: a pistachio-green 1976 AMC Pacer.

Oh man it was a thing of beauty.

Actually, it was probably one of the more hideous cars on the road at the time. But I didn’t care. I had a vision for what it could be.

I had saved up some money from my paper route, but not enough to fully cover the $1500 it would take to make it mine. So, like many kids, I took out a loan from my parents.

We agreed that I would pay them back in installments until the loan was fully satisfied. The cool thing though, was they let me put my name on the title. If I’d taken out a loan from a bank, the bank would have kept the title until it was paid in full. My parents, however, gave me full rights as the owner of my car even though I still owed them money on it.

From the very first installment, the Pacer was legally mine.

Knowing the car belonged to me, regardless of whatever condition it was in, made me love it unconditionally. I invested countless hours into sanding and repainting it, reupholstering the interior, and fixing the myriad of mechanical issues that were inevitable with a 20-year-old engine. If the car had belonged to someone else, there’s no way I would have put the time, money, or effort into transforming it into everything I’d pictured it to be.

In the same way, the moment you trusted Christ, God signed His name on the title of your soul by giving you the Holy Spirit. Your heart is in His name now, and no one will ever repossess it.

Furthermore, because you belong to God, you can be sure that He will fulfill everything He has promised to do in you. You may still feel like an old beater at times—peeling paint, broken transmission, flat tires—but God sees your full potential. He can’t wait to get you into His shop to restore you into the classic car that you are.

Yes, it will take time, and the job will never be fully complete this side of Heaven. But that doesn’t mean God will love you any less in the meantime.

I loved my Pacer when it was pistachio-green just as much as I loved it the day I drove it home from the shop with a fresh coat of gun-metal grey Mercedes paint and shiny new chrome rims.

Why? Because the Pacer was mine.

And you, my friend, are God’s.

May “Belt of Truth Bullet Points”

EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is from our monthly email newsletter. It consists of three quick “bullet points” updating you on various behind-the-scenes aspects of Belt of Truth Ministries. If you would like to receive these in your email each month, you can sign up here.

Bullet PointsMinistry: In the past week or so, we officially hit the three-year mark for BeltofTruth.com. During that time, we’ve published 524 posts reaching almost 50,000 unique visitors in more than 40 countries. How wild is that!? When I first started this blog I had no idea if anyone would even read what I posted, but to see the impact it’s having three years in is mind-blowing to say the least. So thank you once again to all of you who are reading, sharing, and interacting with our content in various ways. Without you guys, I probably would have given up to pursue a career in coconut farming years ago.

Books: I was excited to hear Josh McDowell wanted a few cases of 10 Lies Men Believe About Porn to hand out at his inaugural Set Free Summit. I wasn’t able to attend this year, but I hear there were more than 850 pastors, counselors, and other folks attending who were all looking for ways to help others overcome porn addiction. In other words, exactly the people I want to know about 10 Lies. If you happen to be one of those folks who were there, hit me up and let me know how the conference went. Hopefully next year I’ll be there to hand out copies of 10 Lies in person.

Life: If you reading this newsletter on the day you receive it (May 1st), then you can assume I’m currently defending my new backyard Pirate Fort from my invading daughters. You see, today is my 36th birthday, and like most guys on the downward slope to 40, I asked for a swing set for my birthday. We found one with a built-in playhouse fort, so naturally I am claiming it as my “No Girls Allowed Pirate Fort.” After all, it is my gift. Eventually I’ll let my girls turn it into some lame princess castle, but at least for one afternoon it will be mine. In all seriousness, the swing set has always been for them. The gift I truly wanted was to see the look of joy on my daughters’ faces when they get to play on my their new swing set. After all, isn’t that what every Father wants?

Thanks again for your interest in (and support of) Belt of Truth Ministries. Don’t forget you can hit me up any time if you’ve got a question or need anything from me.

Until next month,
Stephen

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Study Guide

In Case You Missed It…

Here’s what we covered on the blog last month:

Main Article Posts

  • Doubting the Resurrection | “I know many of you have doubts about this whole resurrection thing as well. Perhaps you’ve been looking at Jesus and wondering if it really is true—wondering if the life and freedom He promises is actually available for you.”
  • And Now for Something Completely Different… | “For those of you who would like to see behind the curtain, please enjoy this virtual tour of the Belt of Truth World Headquarters…”
  • Reader Q/A: How Do I Deal with Triggers? | “Unless you live in the Arctic, there’s no way to avoid triggers in today’s world, which means you need to develop a plan of what to do when it happens.…”
  • Reader Q/A: Why is Pornography a Sin? | “You say pornography is a sin, but I don’t understand why. Why does God think it’s such a big deal? It’s not hurting anyone.…”

“Who You are in Christ” Posts  

  • You Have the Holy Spirit Living in You | “If you are struggling with sexual immorality, it’s not because you are still a slave to sin, it’s because you have forgotten who you are in Christ..”
  • You Have Been Cleansed and Made Holy | “When you reached out to Christ to save you, He made you clean. It had nothing to do with your ability to clean yourself up or become a good person.”
  • Your Value Has Been Confirmed by God | “The next time you feel flawed, worthless, or wonder if you even matter to God, remember how valuable you are truly are…”
  • You can call God “Abba” | “Paul tells us in this verse that we don’t need to fear God as a slave owner. The image of a cruel, impatient, and demanding God is simply not true.”
  • You Are an Heir to God’s Glory | “The moment you are adopted as a child of God through your union with Jesus, you become an heir to His glory. Your name is written into God’s will.”
  • You Were Joined to the Lord | “Everything changed the moment I pledged myself to my wife on our wedding day. As wonderful as this has been, it is nothing compared to the eternal union we’ve received with Jesus.”
  • You Have Received Wisdom from God | “True wisdom isn’t something you generate on your own. As Paul shows us in this verse, the source of wisdom is Jesus. God made Christ to be wisdom itself.”
  • You Will Never Be Separated from God’s Love | “There is absolutely nothing in this world that will ever drive a wedge between you and God’s love.”

If you haven’t done so already, be sure to subscribe to www.beltoftruth.com so you don’t miss out on any future posts. And, as always, don’t forget to check out our Top-10 Posts.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


The Blazing Center: You Can’t Shame People Into Repentance

“Shaming doesn’t bring believers closer together in fellowship. Shame doesn’t lead believers in paths of repentance and righteousness. Rather, shame causes people to hide. It causes them to withdraw. To disappear.”

Gospel Coalition: How I Discovered True Masculinity

“I really thought whatever god was responsible for creating me must have been a little drunk when he pieced me together. I never felt like a woman, nor did I want to be one, but I also didn’t feel like a man. I felt other, which made me feel inferior to other males and uncomfortable around them.”

Christianity Today: What an Obscure Old Testament Figure Reveals about Us Gentiles

“With this list of characters, it’s no wonder we overlook Obed-Edom. His obscure name is a compound of two other names—Obed, David’s grandfather, and Edom, Esau’s nickname. No doubt, many of us would have to Google him to figure out who he was. Yet he beautifully illustrates what has happened to us—especially us Gentiles—through Jesus.”

Unlocking the Bible: 10 Cravings of the Sinful Nature

“The Christian life is a sustained battle against the constant impulses of sin that rise from the sinful nature. If you are a Christian, your sin is forgiven, but it has not yet been expelled. You are now involved in a lifelong struggle, with the help of the Spirit of God, against the desires of the sinful nature.”

Dave Willis: What Your Phone Reveals About Your Marriage

“Over the years, my wife Ashley and I have interacted with countless married couples, and a trend we’ve discovered is that the way a couple handles their cell phones reveals a great deal about the overall health of their marriage. Let me explain…”

Family Life: About You

In Christ: You Have Become a Member of Christ’s Body

 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it (1 Corinthians 12:27).

I’m convinced the 1980s were the golden decade for cartoons. Feel free to argue with me on that, but you probably won’t change my mind. Now, I can admit, my opinion may be tainted with the bias of personal nostalgia, but you have to admit there were some pretty awesome classics back then.

My personal favorite, hands-down, was Voltron. Five kids, each with their own giant robotic lion, who would combine together to form the massive robot, Voltron. Every episode followed the same basic template—a bad guy shows up, the kids try to battle him as individual lions, realize they’re overmatched, and then finally combine forces as Voltron to save the day.

This same basic template has shown up in multiple cartoon series even to this day. Transformers (a close second to Voltron in my mind) had multiple iterations of these “combiners”: Devastator (formed from the five Constructicons), Defensor (formed from the five Protectobots), and the impressive Predaking (formed from the five Predacons). Even the long-running Power Rangers series with their “Megazord” was clearly inspired by (IE: ripped-off) the Voltron template as well.

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed over the years though, it’s that these shows I loved so deeply as a boy spoke to me for a reason. More often than not, it’s because they awakened something inside of me that God had put there for a reason. In the case of Voltron, it’s this idea that we’re all given an important role to play as part of a larger team—God’s team.

The moment you trusted Jesus, you became part of the body of Christ. You may not have received a giant robotic lion, but you were made into the hands and feet of Jesus. In other words, He wants to use you as the instrument through which He does good works in this world, and for you to be His tangible representation to everyone you meet.

Practically speaking, this means that instead of merely praying for peace in the world and wondering why God isn’t answering that prayer, perhaps you should consider whether He’s put that particular desire on your heart because He’s chosen you to do something about it. Maybe He wants to use you as His arms to deliver a loving embrace to your city or family.

I can tell you one thing for sure—God didn’t save you so you could just sit there in your robotic lion and watch 80s cartoons while the body of Christ functions without you. Anytime Voltron went into battle even one lion short, it didn’t end well—at least not until everyone was able to contribute and the body was whole once again.

Luckily, the body of Christ doesn’t have any paralyzed limbs either. As long as you show up, you’ll be given all the power and energy you will need to do whatever He calls you to do. Your life now flows from the same source that’s been empowering countless generations of believers to change the world through His love.

So don’t settle for being a mere spectator. As a member of Christ’s body, you’re now part of the team. You may be the green lion, or perhaps you’re the red one. Either way, the body can’t function as well without you.

So get off the couch and get in the game. We need you.

This post is an excerpt from my new book, 52 Amazing Things That Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ. If you enjoyed what you read here, be sure to check out the book for 51 more awesome truths about how God sees you!

Smart Quote: A.W. Tozer

“We need never shout across the spaces to an absent God. He is nearer than our own soul, closer than our most secret thoughts” ―A.W. Tozer

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Reader Q/A: How Do I Deal with Triggers?

Question: “Sometimes I can’t hear the word ‘sex’ or ‘masturbation’ because it makes me think of past events and I become aroused. How can I stop and control myself from these reactions?”

Reader Q/AThanks for reaching out. I believe the issue you mention here is a common (and difficult) struggle for most guys who are trying to develop a healthy sexuality in today’s pornified world.

The term I would use for words (or anything) that awaken unwanted thoughts or behaviors in you is “triggers.” So your question then becomes “What should I do when I encounter triggers” and “How can I eliminate or reduce them from my life?”

What should I do when I encounter triggers?

Unless you live alone in the middle of the Arctic without wi-fi, there’s no way to avoid triggers in today’s world, which means you need to develop a plan of what to do when it happens.

The first thing I would recommend is to avoid giving them more power than they deserve.

You use the word “sometimes” in your question, and I think that is wise. Many guys would have said “always,” which may feel true, but that subtle shift in language shows they’ve already resigned themselves that their response to triggers is out of their control.

And that’s right where the enemy wants you.

By recognizing it’s only sometimes for you, you’re admitting that you do have control over your response. You may feel like you’re in a boat being pulled by the current in a direction you don’t want to go, but you also know you’ve still got oars to paddle with. Sometimes the “oar” is to get up and walk away—to flee from the trigger. Sometimes it’s to ask God to remove an impure thought from your mind and replace it with something true and holy (the girl in this photo is not a sexual object, she is a daughter of God, loved by Him to the same extent that He loves me…)

The trick here, is to not only remember that you have these oars, but to learn how to sense the pull of the current as early as possible so you can begin paddling away before it’s too late. Which brings us to the second thing I suggest:

Learn to recognize your true triggers early.

For me, my biggest triggers have always been rejection and shame, but I wasn’t aware of that until recently. I thought I was being triggered by the sight of a certain “type” of girl, or by being alone at my computer. But what I eventually realized was these were only triggers for me if something deeper had already been at work in my heart.

Once I began to recognize it was rejection and shame that were making me vulnerable to surface triggers, I could deal with them before I came face-to-face with temptation. Learning how to pinpoint these true triggers gave me a map of the river currents, allowing me to paddle around and avoid the rapids before I was forced to fight against them.

How can I reduce triggers from my life?

We’ve just looked at how to rob triggers of their power over you, but even with these tools it’s still wise to reduce the number of triggers you encounter. After all, there’s no sense in fighting any battle you have the power to avoid.

You say you’re hearing certain words that, for you, are sexually charged. That makes me wonder where you’re hearing them. If it’s in a support group with guys sharing their struggles, that’s one thing. But if you’re hearing words like “masturbation” frequently in the movies and TV shows you’re watching, you may want to rethink what you’re letting in.

If you’re only a few months in to your journey, you will likely need to give up some things that are “okay” for others who are further along, until you’re in a healthier place yourself.

When I first began my recovery, I had a phone with no internet, got rid of my TV altogether, and was extremely careful about what movies I watched. It was a sacrifice for sure, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle those things yet. In the years since, I’ve loosened up a bit, but I still use a filter on my computer and won’t go see a movie or TV that has nudity (which means I’m probably the only guy on Earth who hasn’t seen Game of Thrones).

I just know that for me, it’s not worth having to deal with those triggers no matter how good a show is supposed to be.

•••

So, to recap what ended up being a rather long response:

  • Recognize that you’re in control of triggers, they don’t control you.
  • Keep digging deeper to discover what your true triggers are and invite Jesus to heal those areas of your heart.
  • Set up boundaries to limit what you’re allowing in.

I hope that helps. Thanks again for reaching out.

Grace and Peace my friend,
Stephen


If you have a question about pornography addiction, my personal story, or anything else for that matter, you can send it to me by filling out the form on the Contact page (or just click my picture in the sidebar on the right). I will do my best to answer every question personally and will never post your question without your permission.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


JD Greer: Is Your Church a Safe Place For People with Same Sex Attraction?

“If you want your church to be a safe place for those with same-sex attraction (SSA), then step one is to realize that we already have church members who experience it. Just like those who are dealing with any other struggle, we should thank God for bringing them to our churches, and ask God to help us serve them well.”

David Prince: Hope for a Hopeless Marriage

“Our lives continued on this path of destruction for many years to follow. Our marriage resembled a roller coaster ride of spending money, drinking, and generally trying anything we could to escape from the painful reality of our broken relationship. Divorce was always a viable option for us. All the while her heart continued to get colder toward me as I sought to gain control over her.”

Restoration Project: Pornified Masculinity and Hope for Restoration (an interview with Dr. Dan Allender)

“Pornography intersects two core domains: lust and power. The desire for sexual touch and play is God-written in our body and heart. We were made for union and joy and becoming one flesh. This is one of the strongest desires of the human heart — male or female. Sadly, pornography wets that desire and then moves the heart toward power and control. ”

Key Life: Getting Better by Not Trying Harder

“Once we are saved by Christ, anything about the Law or sin that could condemn us has been obliterated. Then we strap on our work boots and get to doing some good works, right?”

Christianity Today: How Victims of Sexual Abuse Can Get the Better of Satan

“We now know much more about the brain. We know, for example, that trauma shuts down the left functional lobe where language resides. We have always known that trauma victims have fragmented memories, but now we have a clearer understanding of why.”

Elder DJ Ward: Jesus Paid it All

In Christ: Your Value Has Been Confirmed by God

God bought you with a high price… (1 Corinthians 6:20)

I’m not typically one to get excited about reality TV, but I’ll admit I can watch Pawn Stars for hours. There’s just something fascinating about seeing the random stuff people bring in, and even more so seeing them haggle about what it’s worth.

For example, one guy brought in a box full of sunken treasure. Full-on rupees that had rusted together after being at the bottom of the sea for a hundred years or so. As it turns out, they were authentic and (supposedly) worth over $700k.

Or, on the other end of the spectrum, one kid brought in a pair of 20-year-old Air Jordan shoes in mint condition expecting to get a few hundred bucks out of them. After a bit of investigation they ended up being rerelease throwbacks from 2009. Final value: $75 – about $50 less than what they retailed for originally.

That’s what makes this show so much fun though, the fact that you never know who’s going to come through the door and what they’re going to have to sell. Even the people bringing things in often have no idea what it’s actually worth.

Now, imagine if someone brought you in as their item to sell at the pawn shop. How would that conversation go? For me, I expect it would go something like this:

Seller: I’ve got a standard issue Oregonian, native, probably made sometime around the early-80s. He’s in decent shape other than starting to show some wear spots on the top of his head.

Buyer: Interesting. What were you hoping to get from him?

Seller: I was thinking $200.

Buyer: I don’t know man. We see a lot of these. Plus, look here: he’s clearly got some issues. I see signs of some messed-up junk in his past so there’s probably some baggage from that. And see that…the guy has some lingering issues with selfishness and pride. You’d think by this age those would have worn off of him but apparently not this guy. The best I can do is $10.

After all, isn’t that what these guys do? They point out every flaw and look for any reason they can find to haggle the price lower. They’re not interested in confirming its value, they only want to reduce how much they need to pay for it.

Aren’t you glad God doesn’t look at us that way? This verse in 1 Corinthians reminds us of how God would respond if someone offered to sell you to Him: He’d buy you without question. Not only that, He’d pay the highest price for you, fully confirming your worth and value.

How can we know that’s what He would do?

Because that’s exactly what He already did.

So the next time you feel flawed, worthless, or wonder if you even matter to God, remember how valuable you are truly are: valuable enough that God bought you from the enemy at the cost of His Son’s life.

This post is an excerpt from my new book, 52 Amazing Things That Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ. If you enjoyed what you read here, be sure to check out the book for 51 more awesome truths about how God sees you!

Smart Quote: D.L. Moody

"There are many of us that are willing to do great things for the Lord, but few of us are willing to do little things.“ —D.L. Moody

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Key Life: No Darkness Too Dark—Pride and Pornography

“Even though pornography had already broken my marriage and I hated it, I feared my husband would reject me altogether if I did not force myself to return to what now seemed like a duty.”

Relevant: Everything My Church Taught Me About Sex and Marriage Is Wrong

“Well-meaning as they were, speakers used these lines to preach the Gospel, but the main thing I took away was a shallow understanding of sex and marriage. I found myself believing in two lies: ‘marriage and sex are completely different’ and ‘sex is about me.’”

For the Church: Fighting Lust With Lust

“Awhile back I preached a sermon in which I emphasized the deception and danger of lust. I regretted not being able to further develop the topic, specifically how to fight lust. The answer to lust may surprise some, but it is the answer and frankly the only answer to lust that ultimately works.”

CovenantEyes: 4 Non-Biblical Reasons Porn is Ruining Your Life

“When we look at porn, a supercharged amount of dopamine floods the brain and an artificial high is created. The brain’s pleasure center spikes, and we experience euphoria and ecstasy. Repeated exposure to porn causes the brain to be repeatedly overloaded and become fatigued, and the dopamine receptors begin to shut down.”

XXXChurch: 4 Things You Must Teach Kids About Porn

“There are plenty of things in this world you’ll need to teach kids about. Porn should be one of them, so here are four crucial things about porn you need to impart to your children…”

Paula Hall: We Need To Talk About Sex Addiction