Stephen Kuhn

This is the final post in our 8-part series on our Identity in Christ. First, we looked at a few of the false identities men tend to latch onto: Social Groups, Hobbies, and Romantic Relationships. We then shifted gears to look at Who God Says You Are: You are a Saint who has been adopted as a Child of God. Today, we wrap things up by looking at what all this has to do with pornography addiction.

How Does Understanding My Identity Help Me Overcome Porn?

Imagine you are walking down a crowded street and everywhere you look you see people scowling back at you. All you hear are whispers of accusation and condemnation. Not only that, but every alley you walk by is lined with scantily clad beauties offering you illicit affairs and promising you an escape from the noise of the crowd.

Photo credit: SpirosK Photography

Picture this scene while thinking to yourself, I am a sinner. I’m worthless. Nobody loves me. I am a slave to my sin.

How do you respond to the accusations? How do you respond to the sexual temptation? You will desperately want to retreat from the fear and pain caused by the verbal assaults of the crowd. When you hear the offer of love and acceptance from the alleys, it will be nearly impossible to resist its pull. You know it’s sin to give in, but you already feel like a failure, so what’s one more mistake going to matter? By viewing yourself as a sinner, you have resigned yourself to the fact that you will eventually give in, just as you always do.

Now, picture the same scene again, but this time, think to yourself: I am in Christ and He is in me. I am a child of God. I am a saint. Sin has no power over me.

I am in Christ and He is in me. I am a child of God.
I am a saint. Sin has no power over me.

Is your response any different now? I am willing to bet it is. When you view yourself this way, it becomes much easier for you to ignore the condemning voices because you know the things they are saying about you are no longer true. When you understand how much you are loved and accepted by God, you won’t feel the need to receive love and acceptance from the illicit back-alley opportunities. When you understand your true identity, it puts your eyes back onto God, His love, and what He says is true about you. It allows you to walk in His power rather than your own.

Understanding you true identity as “in Christ” will help you maintain a proper perspective. And in the same way this perspective empowers you to resist the temptations in the previous illustration, it will also empower you to resist the temptations you encounter in real life.

“My Name is Stephen, and I’m a Sex Addict”

I believe 12-step programs have helped countless people learn how to manage their behavior and live improved lives. For that reason, I am grateful that they exist and support them fully. That being said, I think there is one area where they are falling short of their full potential.

Standard 12-step programs will encourage you to identify yourself as an addict regardless of how long you have been sober. Yes, you may find freedom from the behavior of your addiction, but you remain shackled to your identity as an addict. As the saying goes: “Once an addict, always an addict.”

Christ offers you a new identity, though. Because of His freedom, you are no longer a slave to sin, which means you no longer need to identify yourself as an addict. In fact, your addiction can’t define you anymore, because it’s dead. It was crucified with Christ along with the rest of your sin.

This is why the gospel message is not about learning how to merely cope with or manage your negative behaviors; it’s about being reborn into a reality where your sin has been put to death once and for all.

That, my friend, is true freedom from addiction!

So let me ask you again, who are you?

Are you a sinner? Are you an addict? Not anymore, my friend!

If you have put your hope in Christ, you are a child of God! You are a saint! You are dead to sin!

Try to remind yourself of these truths every day. It’s amazing the difference they will make in your life—and in your journey to freedom from pornography.

Define yourself radically as one beloved by God.
This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.
―Brennan Manning—

This post has been adapted from my new book,
10 Lies Men Believe About Porn, available in Spring of 2014.

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