The following story is the first chapter from my book, 10 Lies Men Believe About Porn, available now wherever books are sold. It is presented here in eight parts and should take you no more than ten minutes to read (You can find Part 1 here). If you would rather read it off-line, you can sign up for our monthly newsletter to receive a free PDF download of the first three chapters of the book as my thank-you gift for signing up.
New Life in Christ
In that moment of surrender, I finally stepped aside and allowed God to begin changing me into the person He wants me to be. Once I got out of His way, the changes were astounding. I still have the same personality and mannerisms, but the deepest desires of my heart have been transformed. I no longer have to fight the constant temptation of sin because sin is no longer my greatest desire. It has been replaced by a desire to love others with the love of Christ. My default reaction is to pray for those who hurt me and respond to them in love, not anger or any of the other negative emotions I would have had in the past. It’s real, honest love for them. And it just happens naturally. I no longer see money as a means to comfort and security, but see it as a tool to meet the needs of others. I don’t need to force myself to read the Bible or pray out of religious duty. Because I have experienced God’s deep desire to have a relationship with me, I cannot wait to spend time with Him any opportunity I get.
It’s also because of this new life within me that I continue to love and pray for my wife. If I were still the same person as before, but with a shiny new coat of paint, it wouldn’t make any sense to wait for her. Why would we attempt to rebuild a marriage that failed so miserably? Wouldn’t we just be setting ourselves up for more heartache? The reason I have hope things could be different now is because I know I am no longer the same person. The two of us would be the same people on the outside, but completely new people on the inside. I believe that God can someday show her that I am a new person and heal her heart to a point where she might be open to trusting the work of Christ within me. As much as I desire to be reconciled to my wife, though, I also see how God is using me in this season of singleness. I’ve come to trust that God knows what’s best for me and always has me exactly where He wants me.
I could tell you many stories of how God has provided for me financially, emotionally, and spiritually in these past few years. His blessings continue to blow my mind daily. It becomes easier and easier to trust Him because of the myriad of ways I have seen Him consistently come through. When I look at the frustration of trying to control life on my terms and compare it to the peace and rest that comes from trusting His plan and direction for me, I cannot comprehend how I resisted Him for so long.
I’ve found that going all-in for Christ is a lot like taking the red pill in The Matrix. You suddenly wake up and realize the world you thought was real was actually a lie, and you now get an opportunity to experience real life for the first time. Unlike in The Matrix, though, the real world is not dark and depressing, but full of life, love, and joy. One thing is the same—the only way to experience this is to commit to it fully. You have to be all in or it will not work. And once you’re all in, there’s no turning back.
But I believe you won’t want to.