“What’s the one piece of advice you would give
to someone struggling with porn addiction?”
Traylor Lovvorn is the Chief Ragamuffin, Founder, and CEO of Route1520, and the Executive Director of Undone Redone
Connect with Traylor:
Steve: Hey guys! Steven here with Belt of Truth Ministries. I’m on the line with Traylor Lovvorn. His the Chief Rug and Muffin founder and CEO of Route 1520 and his the Executive Director of Undone Redone. So Traylor what’s the one piece of advice that you would give to somebody struggling with porn addiction?
Traylor: Well Steven the one thing that I would tell them things that I wish somebody told me when I was neck beat in my struggle was simply the truth that god was not angry with me and god wanted to join me in the struggle with pornography. Where I was and what kept me in prison for so long was this belief that your god has done his part of salvation and for me that happened when I was 11 years old and it was all about him wiping the slate clean but somewhere along the way I picked up this idea that I had to keep it clean and being exposed when I was 8 years old, this ongoing struggle and believing that to no better equal to do better. Well that wasn’t working for me.
So all that really added a lot of my shame, to a lot of my shame that I now realized was only fueling more of addiction instead of fixing it. So if had known and certainly want these guys who are listening here to know that they’re beloved son, if they’re in Christ, that he’s not angry, that he’s not pissed off in any way. They have the full acceptance and love of their father. And for me the transformation that was brought about was when I began to really allow that message to sync in the full gospel.
That’s when I began to experience true heart change and grace was something that I didn’t fully understand. I think for me the Christian life was you work as hard as you can to meet god’s standards which was perfection so you know you’re not going to quite get there and grace is that little bit of extra to get you over the top. And man, recovery has completely flipped to that paradigm for me. Because when I had that paradigm, passages that Paul would write about those thing in weakness, man that made no sense to me because when I thought it was about leading with strength and having this pristine asking place which I was very good at doing for 30 something years.
Those things in weakness probably talking about and later in the twilight of his ministry he talks about being the chief of center. That to me was not the positive PR campaign that we need to be the good witness for Jesus that we need to be. Why would he say that? Well it was recovery that helped me understand why Paul was saying that. Because he really understood grace and for most of my life I really didn’t. And being able…one of the…in our group we have recovery groups that we lead here in the Birmingham, Alabama area and one of the passages that are part of our readings at every group is a passage from Titus too.
He said with a grace of god has appeared bringing salvation for all people. That’s verse 11, I got that part. Grace means Salvation. But what I had missed was that grace was also a transforming power. And so it goes in verse 12 as I’m training that, to renounce and godliness and whirly passions and to live self-control upright and godly lives in the present age. I thought that grace had saved me and now if my sanctification came to sweat effort striving more discipline, more willpower, all of these things to show god how thankful I am for what he had done for me with the cross. But to finally understand that no grace but only saves, it’s the power that is actually transforming me, that was a complete game changer because now overcoming sexual sand and any sand in my life is now through surrender not through striving. And surrender for me most of my life it just felt like giving up and an easy out.
I was so afraid with that would just be a license to continue down this road of all these simple things but what it actually meant is I’ve discovered my want to’s. What I really now understand grace that god is smiling. My desires are changing because when I understand that the father is singing over me. And he’s allowed me to begin to hear that melody. Man that’s a game changer because now it’s not just about the outward behavior that I was about for so many years.
Now it’s about really just resting in my position as aside. That I’m no longer an orphan and for me my life in what I’ve I described here, I was a spiritual orphan trying to pull off and do the Christian life on my own. Just like an orphan lives on his own. There’s no power outside of he or she to act on their behalf. We do have that power.
So anyway that’s a long answer to a great question. I wish that I had known that god was not angry, not pissed, not frustrated, not sending over them to the corner with his arms crossed tapping his foot wondering when I was going to get my act together so he can get on with kingdom business. Because what that do is it just left me alone in my struggle. And so all I need to do with pain was to run them more pornography. And so bring your pain to the father, he wants to enter in to that place with you. He’s safe, he’s good. The backdraft of our ministry is Luke 15. And that story, the two sons illustrates everything that I’m talking about.
The prodigal expected…the best he was hoping for was be reinstated or be instated as a servant, as a hired hand for his dad. Sonship was completely off the table based on what he had done. So if you’re struggling, if you even last night, even five minutes ago, struggling your heat in the shame, remember if you’re in Christ he is running after you, he wants to join you in that struggle and the only way we can truly change is surrendering to the fact that we can’t change. And once we do that, it begins to open the door to the true power of the gospel and the spirit in our lives.
Steve: Great. I think that’s awesome advice. Yeah I mean I would agree if there’s this one thing, that’s where you start, that’s where you have to start. If you try and start anywhere else, suddenly inviting the odd in, everything is going to be just…it’s going to be off. So yeah I agree fully that that’s the…there’s one thing, that’s where you start. Just let inviting the father in. So thank you for sharing that Traylor. Tell people where can they find out more about your ministry.
Traylor: Yeah our ministry is at Route 1520, Route 1 5 2 0 and like I said, the backdrop is Luke 1520 when the prodigal decides to come home. And so that’s what we are about…at route1520.com is our website but we help prodigals and elder brothers find their way home to the true heart of the father understanding this message of grace that meeting ourselves up about that behavior doesn’t change the bad behavior. But actually accepting the scandalous nature of god’s grace in our lives is what really brings about change. Melanie, my wife and I, we also do a weekly podcast, it’s called Undone Redone. That website is undoneredone.com.
We have about almost 65 episodes up now and just talking about our story of brokenness. Hers from more of an elder brother, mine for more of a prodigal with a public elder brother, secret prodigal but our tagline is Life is Messy Bring your Bait and we just kind of flushed out more of these things. They’re on the podcast.
Steve: Thanks for your time. All those links…I know you sent me more for Facebook, Twitter, all that stuff, we’ll put that in the show notes so people can find you. I loved what you guys are doing, keep up the great work and yeah anybody watching this video, check out Route 1520, Undone Redone, it’s all great stuff. So thanks again Traylor.
Traylor: Stephen thank you. I look forward to what you’re doing with your ministry as well. I look forward to maybe working with you down the road.
Steve: Sounds good. See you.