“What’s the one piece of advice you would give
to someone struggling with porn addiction?”
Michael Todd Wilson is a licensed professional counselor, sex therapist, and recovery coach.
Connect with Michael
Unburdened: The Christian Leader’s Path to Sexual Integrity
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Steve: Hey, guys! I’m here with Michael Todd Wilson. Michael’s a licensed professional counselor, sex therapist, and recovery coach. Michael, thanks for joining us today.
Michael: You got it.
Steve: Yeah, I got a question for you I’ve been asking a bunch of folks and that’s the one piece of advice that you would give to somebody struggling with porn addiction.
Michael: Well there are a lot of things that people can do. I think one of the most important things is to not be alone with it. Don’t be alone with the struggle. All of us need to be in a relationship. God created us to be in relationship. You go all the way back to Genesis when it says it’s not good for man to be alone. Yes, that’s about marriage. But more fundamentally, it’s about not being alone, exactly what it says. And so when we’re dealing with any kind of life dominating issue, including sexual addiction, the important thing is to not be alone. Now, for each person, that can be different okay. Not being alone might be to find a friend that you already have a relationship with but you haven’t really talked to them about this aspect of what you’re dealing with in your life. And it might be just take the risk of sharing with them or it might be to reach out to a counselor or coach, or a pastor that you have a relationship with or that you may want to create relationship with, and tell them because some people don’t have anybody they feel like they’re safe like a friend or someone who they know. But to reach out to somebody who is professional, whether it’s paid or not, to say, “Look I’ve got this problem. I need help.” There are recovery groups everywhere. There are 12-Step based recovery groups, there are Christian recovery groups. The important thing is, and don’t get overwhelmed by the fact that, “Well gosh, who should I tell?” or I have a couple of directions to go. It doesn’t matter. Whatever the path of least resistance is for you, take it. Any step to not be alone with it will help you. And in fact, here’s what I know from all the guys that I’ve worked with. You take a tiny step and you feel encouraged about it, you feel like you’re making some progress. Guess what you’re going to do. You’re going to leverage that to take another step. So don’t worry about the big steps you’re not ready to take yet. Just take the smaller. Any step will get you moving beyond the status quo to being able to take the next step of freedom. So it’s about community, it’s about one step at a time, it’s about being in a relationship, and it’s about being known. That’s probably the most important thing I can say.
Steve: I think that’s excellent advice. Thanks for sharing that.
Steve: Yeah. And Michael, tell people where they can find out more about you or your ministry online. Yeah, sure. I do recovery coaching. I had a counseling practice for about fifteen years. And about two years ago, I transitioned to everything just being virtual by phone and video conference so Michaeltoddwilson.com, easiest place to find my website. Information about the services that I provide including my coaching that I do. I’ve written two books, and my most recent book #3 will come out for Christian leaders on sexual integrity recovery from [inaudible 3:11] September.
Steve: Great! Well thanks again for your time and good luck in all your ministry endeavors.
Michael: You bet. Hey, thanks for what you did too!
Steve: Yeah, thank you!