“What’s the one piece of advice you would give
to someone struggling with porn addiction?”
Jeff Fisher is the founder of Puritycoaching.com, PorntoPurity.com, and host of the Top Tips For Sexual Purity podcast.
Connect with Jeff
Podcast: Top Tips For Sexual Purity Podcast
Steve: Hey, guys! Steve here with Belt of Truth Ministries. I’ve got Jeff Fisher on the line. Jeff is the founder of Puritycoaching.com, Porntopurity.com, and he also hosts the Top Tips for Sexual Purity podcast which you can find on iTunes. So Jeff, let me go ahead and ask you what’s the one piece of advice that you would give to somebody struggling with porn addiction?
Jeff: Hey, Steven! Glad to be on your show and everybody out there. I think one of the biggest tips that I’ve learned in the process is that we need to keep coming out of isolation. There’s an initial coming out of isolation where I share my secret story, I share the things that I’ve been hiding and covering up for so long. That initial share is one of the hardest things to get over but finding somebody safe, finding an old friend, maybe paying to go to somebody who’s confidential like a counselor, or even setting an appointment with the minister, finding somebody where you can break the ice. Once you break the ice and start to talk about the struggles within in regards to your sexual purity, then it’s like God is just there and it’s this freeing up feeling and this fountain of relief. And it’s hard to describe that I can finally talk to somebody openly about what’s going on. It’s still scary and it still takes a lot of courage but that initial share, and maybe I haven’t talked about it in a long time or I haven’t talked about really the deeper things, and that’s what I mean is going to those levels where you’re breaking the isolation and you’re sharing. But you know the tip is to keep doing that. We who are in recovery from our sexual struggles have to keep doing that on a regular basis. It gets easier as we work through the pain and the difficult things. And people are good for it. Then I feel comfortable to share more and build trust. I think sometimes that I need to go to somebody like you, Steven, or somebody like our ministry, or another ministry that is equipped and is used to hearing people’s struggles. Sometimes, we can do enough work on the front end to find a minister or a counselor who is used to talking to people about their sexual struggles but I think that is one of the benefits of ministries like ours. We’re automatic safe people that we’re not going to flinch. It’s not that we’ve heard it all but we’ve heard a whole lot. And everybody thinks that their story is unique and the worst. And it’s not, it’s very common but we just are not around people that talk about it to know that our struggle is a common thing. And sometimes, the depths and widths of our struggle might be more unique but just the core of our struggle. For seven years ago was when the stuff hit the fan for me. I got caught, I got exposed and I was kind of forced out but then I had to still make a decision to keep sharing. So admitting that I had looked at bad stuff on the computer was one thing but then to keep sharing and keep opening up, that’s where God started to bless and that’s where I started to find the healing that I needed from the Lord.
Steve: I think that’s great advice. We have heard of that as walking in the light. And I know that was hugely important when I started recovery. It was just getting comfortable sharing my story and…
Steve: Yeah. I couldn’t agree with you more so thanks for sharing that, Jeff. Tell people where they can find you online.
Jeff: Yeah, sure. My wife and I, Marcia and I, we started Porntopurity.com about seven years ago, just as a way to blog about our struggles and then it started to turn into a podcast and so I started a podcast called Top Tips for Sexual Purity and you could find that on iTunes. That’s the best place to search for it. There’s a huge catalogue, huge back catalogue of episodes. So download whatever ones that you feel are good for you. And then our latest website is called Puritycoaching.com and that’s where we offer our support groups, offer a unique thing called Accountability jumpstart where I can help you get started in you accountability for 1, 2, or 3 months. I can be your accountability partner. And then there’s regular coaching where there’s a more comprehensive in-depth help to build your purity strategy so that it goes for the long-term.
Steve: Okay. We will be sure to link to all that in the show notes. Thanks again for your time, Jeff. I really appreciate it. And we’ll keep in touch.
Jeff: Yeah, thanks a lot!
Steve: Okay, see you!