“What’s the one piece of advice you would give
to someone struggling with porn addiction?”
Jason Pamer is the Producer & Writer on the critically acclaimed film, “Rape for Profit” as well as his current film — “Hearts of Men” which is slated to release late 2015/early 2016.
Connect with Jason:
Hearts of Men
Steve: Hey guys! Steve here with Belt of Truth Ministries. I’m on the line with Jason Pamer. Jason is the producer and writer on the critically acclaimed film Rape for Profit, as well as his current film, Hearts of Men, which is slated to be released in late 2015, early 2016. If you guys haven’t seen the trailer yet, it’s right below this video. So make sure you check that out. I’m really looking forward to seeing this movie. So Jason, thanks for joining us. What’s the one piece of advice you would give to somebody struggling with porn addiction?
Jason: Stephen, I don’t know if you’ve had this answer before, hopefully not, but I would recommend every guy read this book. A little cross-pollination right now. I’m serious man. I just got it recently and you and I were talking, kind of preproduction meeting for this call, about it’s not about the porn. And your book does a great job of getting to the lies that get underneath this issue of porn. I think if you think about it from a strategic enemy standpoint, if you can get all the money, all the resources, all the air time, all the books focused on an issue, then he has the ability to get around on the flanks and just destroy men with shame, and get them so focused on white knuckle and trying so hard in developing the 8, 10, 12 step program so that they don’t look porn again. And when they do relapse into porn, it heaps more shame on to them. It’s just this vicious cycle. I think he’s done a good job. Your book is one of the only books I’ve ever read that gets around the issue and gets more to the heart of it, which is what we’re going after the Hearts of Men. And I’m not here to promote the film, as much as I say to guys that “listen, you need to understand at the midst of the addiction there is this relentless thought of coming after you in the midst of it.” And one of the ways we’ve postured this is in the room when you’re looking at porn, a lot of think he’s got to be outside the room because he can’t possibly be in the room because he’s got to be too pissed off at us for relapsing again. And if he’s in the room, he’s probably in the room with his arms cross. There’s no way. He’s sitting next to us with his arm around us, and in fact he is and he’s whispering truth to us. And in those moments, he’s going “guys, I’ve got something so much better for you, so much more real, so much more textured, so much more vibrant.” And I think that’s really what he’s whispering to us. It’s not “I can’t believe you’re looking at porn again, Steven. I can’t believe, Jason, that you’re giving in again. What’d I tell you? Didn’t you not read my word? Did you not pray this morning when you got out of bed?” Those aren’t the things he’s saying to us. He’s going “I love you. You are my son. I’ve got a feast, a lavish feast prepared for you. I’ve got a woman that is going to take all of your energy, heart, mind, and soul to pursue, and that’s where your effort should be, is to go unearth this gem that I have prepared from the beginning, before the foundations of the world.” So I just think it is way more about the action towards something else than it is about the action against something. And that sounds kind of easy and fluffy and maybe it feels like it’s [03:08] issue, but I really do think that if we focus on “how do we defeat this thing?” We’re going at it the wrong way because it’s ultimately not the thing we have to defeat. Again, you get to that in the book. What do we need to defeat? What’s the lies? Because when I go binge on porn, relapsing on porn, if I trace back six hours preceding that event, I can look and go “what was the triggers? What got me there?” It wasn’t because I had just had a great meal with family and friends and my wife and I were really connecting, we had a great glass of merlot, and then all of a sudden I was like “man, I want to go relapse into porn.” That doesn’t happen. It comes from a number of different triggers. And for many of us, it starts very early on. And a lot of us it’s centered over father wound and we’re trying to go, it’s very complex and that’s why I do think there’s very few books I think or films that I would just push people toward because it gives you a really good comprehensive look. Your book does that.
Steve: Thank you, I appreciate that, and I really appreciate what you had to share because obviously you and I are kindred spirits in how we approach this. And you’re right, there’s a much deeper issue. Porn is just the symptom. That’s why I love what you guys are doing with your films, helping to just put a visual picture in people’s minds of what’s really going on below the surface. Thanks for your time, Jason. Tell people where they can find out more about what you’re doing online.
Jason: We just released a major piece of content, our first real piece of what the film’s going to look like. It’s a feature, it’s a 6-minute piece. If you go to unearthedpictures.org or heartsofmenmovie.com, those are the two places that we post content. You can find us on Facebook about those spots as well, Unearthed Pictures and Hearts of Men movie. And that will be areas where we post more content, more teasers, production spills, thoughts, interviews like this we’ll post there. Again, Steven keep doing what you’re doing man. I love it. I think it’s got the right behind it. I think the enemy is positioned against it because it’s starting to uncover, pull back the curtain on what really is happening back there.
Steve: Thank you again and I really appreciate your time. We’ll be sure to link to all that stuff in the show notes and can’t wait to see what you guys keep producing. Thanks again Jason.
Jason: Thanks for having me man.
Steve: Alright, see you.