Question: How do I cope with my highly active sex drive?
First things first, I am not a doctor or a scientist. That being said, I can tell you from my own personal experience of being celibate for multiple years now that one’s libido is somewhat adjustable.
When I was at the peak of my addiction, it was not uncommon for me to have 5+ orgasms a day. I couldn’t even make it through an 8-hour shift of delivering pizzas without stopping once or twice at the adult bookstore preview booth.
At the time, I attributed this to an overactive sex drive.
In the past years though, my sex drive hasn’t completely shut off, but it doesn’t control me like it did before. Your body has a remarkable ability to self-regulate in this area. Yes, there will be a transition period as you down-regulate semen production and other related processes, but they will adjust with time.
I have wondered if my reduced libido these days is simply a result of my aging, but I do not believe that to be the case. I have become much healthier, lost a bunch of weight, and cleaned up my eating and sleep habits since those days—which means I actually have higher testosterone and increased fertility today. Yes, that is merely an N=1 observational study, but I believe its proof that sex drive goes much deeper than hormones.
As you transition down though, learn to love cold showers. I’m serious. It has been a life saver for me. I’ve found that if you alternate between 10-seconds hot and 20-seconds cold, it’s actually enjoyable (unlike the torture of a purely cold shower). It sounds crazy, but it works.
The Real Question You Need to Ask
All that being said, what if your sex drive isn’t actually producing the desire for acting out, but it’s actually the result of attempting to satisfy a deeper issue in your heart through ways that can bring true satisfaction?
Perhaps you’ve been “going to the well” to satisfy a thirst that can only be satisfied by Living Water.
After all, if you find a way to satisfy that need to where you “thirst” again, well, to me that sounds like freedom.
Thank you again for your question. I hope this answer helped bring you more clarity.
Grace and peace to you in Christ,
Stephen
This question was taken from the recent Reddit AMA I did for NoFapChristians.
If you have a question about pornography addiction, my personal story, or anything else for that matter, you can send it to me by filling out the form on the Contact page (or just click my picture in the sidebar on the right). I will do my best to answer every question personally and will never post your question without your permission.
