Stephen Kuhn

Stephen Kuhn has been leading recovery groups, speaking at college campuses, and providing free online counseling through Belt of Truth Ministries ever since he got steamrolled by Jesus and set free from the chains of porn addiction. His passion is to allow God to use the story of redemption in his life to encourage other men to seek healing through the work of Christ as well.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Crossway | An Open Letter to Those Debilitated by Their Sexual Sin

“Jesus knows the kinds of people he has chosen to save. We can seek him, and we will find him true and good for the long haul. My friend was honest, no secrets before God. He was honest to confess where and when he struggled. He was honest with friends, who helped him to seek and find the God who promises many mercies. He was honest in asking help from other people: accountability and prayer, counsel and conversation with brothers. He rebuilt a life that had good in it. He learned to treat both men and women as holy brothers and sisters, rather than as sexual objects.”

Care Leader | 4 Myths about the Wives of Porn Addicts

“There are four misconceptions that many hold about pornography addiction and the betrayed wife. Being aware of these myths will help you improve your counseling strategy to these women.”

Dave Willis | 12 Questions to Consider before Divorcing

“People who choose to get divorced have often endured years of frustration and exhaustion, but the problem is, we tend to make our worst decisions when we’re exhausted and frustrated. These twelve questions below can help you approach these major life decisions with more clarity and perspective.”

Desiring God | When You Can’t Hear God, Keep Talking to Him

“Have you had that experience? Hope doesn’t come. Happiness doesn’t flood your heart. The clouds of depression don’t blow away. Overwhelming struggles simply overwhelm you more. Relationships are not restored. What can we do?”

The Book of Daniel | Official Trailer

The “One Thing” You Need to Know to Get Free from Porn Addiction

If you’ve seen the movie City Slickers, you will no doubt remember the scene where Curly, the old weathered trail boss, is talking to Mitch, a fresh-off-the-bus city boy wondering what the heck he’s doing on the back of a horse out in the middle of nowhere.

Jack-Palance-City-SlickersCurly looks over to Mitch and asks him: “Do you know what the secret of life is?” He immediately holds up his index finger. “One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean $h!%.”

Mitch proceeds to ask him the obvious question: “So, what’s the ‘One Thing?'”

“That,” Curly responds, “Is what you have to find out.”

When it comes to finding freedom from porn addiction, we often approach it the same way. We look for an easy answer—a one-size-fits-all solution—that will work for everyone, every time, without fail.

We want to know the “One Thing,” but that’s typically not the way God works.

Just look at the way Jesus healed the various blind men He encountered throughout the Gospels:

  • Jesus spat in the mud and rubbed it in the eyes of one man (John 9).
  • He placed His hands on two men and they were instantly healed (Matthew 9:27-34).
  • He put His hands on a different man, but this man’s healing took place in stages rather than all at once (Mark 8:22-26).

There doesn’t seem to be any consistent pattern.

Why doesn’t God give us a step-by-step path to follow? 

If you’re looking for “one step” to freedom, “one behavior” you need to change, or “one thing” you need to do to stop looking at porn, you simply won’t find that in the Bible.

I don’t think this is because God is holding out on us though. I believe it’s because God is more interested in your heart than in your actions.

David understood this heart-focus when He wrote about his “One Thing”:

The one thing I ask of the Lord—
the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
(Psalm 27:4)

The “One Thing” that mattered most in David’s life was to seek after the Lord, spending time meditating on His goodness, love, mercy, and grace. David knew the closer he drew to Jesus, the less he would desire sin (Tweet this!).

That was David’s “One Thing.” Perhaps it should be our “One Thing” as well.

What’s your “One Thing”?

Once you begin with the foundational first step of trusting the Lord enough to draw near to Him, the path to freedom will be different for everyone. God takes each one of us on our own unique journey so we will recognize our need to stay near to Him. Like a loving, less crotchety version of Curly, God wants us to follow Him closely on this cattle drive we call life.

But what are those next steps?

Often times, even though the steps are unique to everyone, they will be similar for many. That’s why I reached out a bunch of folks who’ve been walking this road of recovery for a long time and asked them all one simple question:

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give to someone struggling with porn addiction.”

I asked men and women, pastors and parents, people with huge influence, and some folks you’ve probably never even heard of before. Every one of their answers was unique, although you’ll hear some consistent themes throughout many of them.

As you watch these videos, I encourage you to not only listen to their advice, but to follow the links to their various ministries as well. Most of these folks offer tremendous content and resources that will be helpful to you as you walk down your own road to freedom.

I will be posting these videos every Wednesday for the next few months. Once a video is posted, the link to its page will become active. If you prefer not to keep checking back here, simply subscribe to the blog and you will be notified as soon as each new video goes live.

Randal Ajimine

Randal runs the web-based ministry, churchandsex.com and is also involved with the organization Thank God for Sex

Pastor Bob Beeman

Founder of Sanctuary International and host of Pastor Bob Daily

Forest Benedict

Sexual Addictions Treatment Provider and the Clinical Director of LifeSTAR

Gerry Breshears

Professor of theology at Western Seminary in Portland. He is a pastor to pastors with a heart for troubled people as well of co-author of four books.

Darrell Brazell 

Pastor of New Hope Fellowship, Director of New Hope Recovery Ministries, and author of the New Hope For Sexual Integrity recovery manual for men.

James Tarring Cordrey 

Author and founder of Intentional Warriors

Michael John Cusick

Founder and President of Restoring the Soul, author of Surfing for God

Jonathan Daugherty

Founder and director of Be Broken Ministries

Matt Dobschuetz

Host of the Pornfree Radio podcast

Jeff Fisher

Founder of Porn to Purity and host of the Top Tips For Sexual Purity podcast

John Fort

Program coordinator for Pure Life Alliance and director of Pure Community for Be Broken Ministries

Justin from NoFapChristians

Moderator for the No Fap Christians community on reddit

David Kyle Foster

Director of Mastering Life Ministries and host of Pure Passion TV

Luke Gilkerson

Educational Resource Manager for Covenant Eyes, and author of multiple e-books including Coming CleanYour Brain on Porn, and When Your Child is Looking at Porn

Jayson Graves

Christian psycho-therapist, pastoral coach, and founder of Healing for the Soul

Craig Gross

Founder of xxxChurch.com

Rick Kardos

Executive director and co-founder of the Nathan Project

Dr. Mark Laaser

Director of Faithful and True and author of Healing The Wounds of Sexual Addiction

Traylor Lovvorn

Chief Ragamuffin, Founder, and CEO of Route1520, and the Executive Director of Undone Redone

David Martin

Co-founder and writer for My Chains are Gone.

Jenny Miller

Director for Dirty Girls Ministries—a ministry that seeks to offer help, hope, and healing for women who struggle with pornography and sexual addition.

Luke Norseworthy

Pastor of Venture Community Church and host of the Newsworthy with Norsworthy Podcast

Adam Palmer

Pastor and co-author of the book “Go Small” with Craig Gross

Jason Pamer

Producer & Writer on the critically acclaimed film, “Rape for Profit” as well as his current film, “Hearts of Men”

Mike Quarles 

Director of Grace Walk Recovery Ministries and author of multiple books on recovery, including Helping Others Overcome Addictions, which he co-authored with Steve McVey.

Crystal Renaud

Founder and executive director of Dirty Girls Ministries (a ministry that seeks to offer help, hope, and healing for women who struggle with pornography and sexual addition), and the author of the book Dirty Girls Come Clean

Dr. Ted Roberts

Founder of Pure Desire Ministries International and author of the bestselling book, Pure Desire

Paul Robinson

X3Groups zone leader and blogger

Tom “T.C.” Ryan

Author of the book Ashamed No More: A Pastor’s Journey through Sex Addiction

Cory Schortzman

Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center and author of multiple books.

Russ Shaw

Host of the ASI247: Attitudes of Sexual Integrity podcast

Jerry Sinclair 

Director of Faithful and True in Jacksonville, Florida.

Jon Snyder

Founder of Mighty Man Ministries

Seth Taylor

Blogger at xxxchurch.com and author of Feels Like Redemption

Carl Thomas

Outreach pastor and network director for X3Groups

Shellie R. Warren

Writer/Author/Marriage Life Coach/Doula

Michael Todd Wilson

Licensed professional counselor, sex therapist, and recovery coach

David Zailer

Executive Director of Operation Integrity and author of the books Our Journey Home and When Lost Men Come Home (not for men only)

If you or someone you know would be interested in sharing your “One Thing,” please contact me to figure out the details.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

The Moment You Trust Christ: You Have a Secure Future

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Key Life | Women and Lust

“Women who struggle with lust often think they are alone. Most of the time when they hear others talk about problems with sexual addiction, they’re referencing men. But women also struggle with these issues, and they need encouragement to bring their struggle into the open where they can experience the forgiveness and freedom Jesus offers.”

John Eldredge | What Does It Mean That God Will ‘Restore Everything’?

“How is God going to make it all right? How is He going to redeem all of the suffering and loss of this world—and in your own life? Our hearts cry out for restoration. Not escape—restoration. Offering this hurting world the eternal church service in the sky just isn’t going to cut it. Thank God. It’s a horrible view of the future and totally unbiblical.”

Janet Newberry | Once upon a time…a story to read to the child in you

“The boy learned the name of the life-giving tree; His Father called it the Trust Me tree.  The Father said the boy could eat as much fruit from this tree as he wanted.  He said this fruit would help the boy grow strong and wise; this Trust Me fruit would help the boy grow up.”

Fierce Marriage | 3 Ground Rules for Experiencing Real Honesty with Your Spouse

“Almost every married couple has faced or will face issues like these in their union. The thing is, they’re usually just symptoms of a greater problem; one that can’t be identified without honest conversation.”

John Lynch | Heart of Man

The Moment You Trust Christ: You Can No Longer be Touched by the Evil One

We know that God’s children do not make a practice of sinning, for God’s Son holds them securely, and the evil one cannot touch them (1 John 5:18).

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Covenant Eyes | Finding Freedom from the Cave of Shame

“The moment you put your faith in what Jesus did on the cross for you, all manner of incredible happens to you. Near the top of the astonishing list of realities is this: You receive a brand new core identity. Your shame story, all of it, was eradicated at the cross.”

X3Church | 3 Ways To Beat The Shame

“Shame is an enemy that we all deal with and something that the porn addict is only all too familiar with.  One of the reasons that pornography maintains such a strong hold on men (and women) is the incredible shame that comes along with viewing it.”

Relevant | The Difference Between Accountability and Shaming Is Really Important

“Those four words—can you help me—have the power to change our lives. The moment where our desire for change overcomes our insecurity about asking for help is the moment we discover a new sense of personal momentum.”

Key Life | How to Love a Jerk Like Me

“As a Christian, it can be hard to know when and how to stand up for what, and when. It’s humility that brings us to God, but then we beef up our egos on the idea that we are the only people with truth. But the truth we’re privy to isn’t what we make it out to be. It’s not some unified political theory or certainty about how to react in every situation, it’s a simple message of God’s love for all.”

Artist Spotlight | Tony Anderson

The Moment You Trust Christ: You Receive Assurance of Eternity in Heaven

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Relevant | Science Proves the Value of Emotional Honesty

“The findings were intriguing because I am so quick to think the strongest are usually the quietest. Isn’t that how it goes? Whomever complains the least, whomever can stand the pain the longest without a word spoken, those are the individuals to aspire to be like? These silent individuals are the toughest of specimens.”

Desiring God | Seven Promises to Pray Against Porn

“Right now, in Christ, you are free. You must believe it. You are not doomed to digital dungeons. Don’t go online with palms up and wrists ready for sin’s chains.”

Head Heart Hand | Loneliness is Killing Us

“I encourage you to make the time. Find the regular, standing appointment. Fellowship with the men in your church. Don’t be afraid of the awkwardness or effort it takes to do this. Modern research is showing us what God has told us all along: It is not good for man to be alone.”

CovenantEyes | Why is my husband so angry? It all comes down to shame.

“If we look at the core beliefs of a sex addict we see even more reasons for them to be angry. A sex addict believes he is an unworthy and unlovable person. He usually learned at a young age that he can depend on no one but himself. An exception to this is the addict with a doting parent (usually mother) who learned that he must be incapable of taking care of himself since she does everything for him…reinforcing the feelings of being unworthy. This kind of self-loathing once again is exhibited as displaced anger, usually directed toward wife, kids, or intimate objects.”

Andrew T. Walker | Should You Call a Transgender Person “Him” or “Her”?

The Moment You Trust Christ: You are Granted Full Access to God

"Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most" (Hebrews 4:16).

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn and sexual addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Wesley Hill | Sex for Christians: Self-Giving and Sanctifying

“Eventually, without ever losing this radical preference for celibacy, the early Christians came to realize that marriage, too, could be a way of pointing to the same resurrection hope. St. Augustine, who often (half the time unfairly, it must be said) gets a bad rap for being anti-sex, was the church father who saw clearly that finding a spouse, having sex, and starting a family could also point you toward heaven. Marriage itself, with sexual intimacy as its seal, could be a kind of parable of the way Jesus binds himself in love to the church as a whole.”

Brad Hambrick | Why Your Pastor Can’t Be More Practical than You Are Honest

“The reality is no one – regardless of how strong their gift of teaching or keen their insights into the human condition – can be more practical than we are honest. This is not an indictment on their ability to teach, but on our ability to receive.”

Desiring God | You Can’t Turn from Temptation on Your Own

“If you ask, how does the renewal happen? How does the mind of the spirit get altered so that I’m not in rebellion anymore, and I’m not finding more pleasure in me, but more in God? The answer is, the Holy Spirit comes and does a double work.”

The Wardrobe Door | When Jesus Didn’t Call His Father Good

“For Jesus, He has had that deep personal relationship with God the Father for eternity. Stretching back, beyond the dawn of creation, that connection was there. Except the one instance when it wasn’t.”

Hillsong | So Will I