Smart Quote: Søren Kierkegaard

“And this is one of the most crucial definitions for the whole of Christianity; that the opposite of sin is not virtue but faith.” ―Søren Kierkegaard

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Desiring God: Lecrae Confesses Abortion, Invites Others into the Light

“Years down the line I was going through premarital, getting rid of pictures of my ex-girlfriends, to say my mind and my heart are focused on this woman here, and I don’t need any reminders of anything. And I came across her picture and I couldn’t throw it away. And my wife said, ‘Just throw it in the trash.’ I literally broke down over the guilt and the remorse and the shame of it all. That was the beginning of the healing process for me.”

Storyline: You Should Give Yourself a Little More Grace

“He also mentioned that it was important for people to have some grace toward themselves about behavior change. The idea is to keep moving forward, but when we slip up, simply plant our feet and keep moving, slowly, but further than the place where we slipped up before.”

Redemption Pictures: For They Shall See God

“What if being pure in heart isn’t about being void of traditional immoralities (lying, swearing, sex), but rather unadulterated by the darker demons that twist and corrupt love into something unrecognizable (fear, doubt, and all the little ways their horde robs the soul of its life)?”

The Porn Effect: An Open Letter From a Former Porn Star

“I was a ‘porn star’ for only six months but featured in over twenty films. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, and I’ve seen the reality of what the porn industry is really like. I think many people believe falsehoods about porn. Falsehoods which, if they knew them to be such, would probably try harder (or try at all) to stop watching porn.”

Lecrae, John Piper, & John Ensor: The Remorse of Abortion and the Healing of the Gospel of Christ

You are Loved with an Everlasting Love

“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
        With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself 
(Jeremiah 31:3).

Who You are In Christ

If you’ve ever seen the classic 70’s film, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, you will undoubtedly remember the scene where Wonka unveils his top-secret new creation: The Everlasting Gobstopper.

The Gobstopper, for those of you who didn’t grow up pretending to be an Oompa Loompa, is a funky looking jawbreaker that never gets any smaller. In the words of Willy Wonka himself: “You can suck them and suck them and suck them and they’ll never get any smaller. Never!”

A single piece of this magic candy would last you the rest of your life because it would never diminish in size…never be reduced…never shrink in the slightest.

In other words, it would be everlasting.

ev·er·last·ing
     adjective
     1. lasting forever; eternal: everlasting future life.

The Lord uses this exact same word when He describes His love through the prophet Jeremiah, which means nothing will ever make His love for you stop, shrink, or be reduced in any way.

The moment you put your faith in Christ, every barrier that ever stood between you and the everlasting love of God was removed forever:

  • Your bad decisions will not reduce it.
  • Your stubbornness cannot stop it.
  • Your sin will never block it.

Or, to (loosely) paraphrase Willy Wonka, no matter how much you feel like you suck, God’s love for you will never get any smaller.


This has been a repost from the archives.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Smart Quote: John Piper

“God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.” —John Piper

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

How Jacob’s Humble Prayer can bring You Freedom from Addiction

The Prayer of Jacob

“The Prayer of Jacob,” by Gustav Doré

One of my favorite things about studying the Bible is how God can use a story I’ve read a dozen times to speak to me in a completely new way.

The most recent example of this came just the other day as I was reading the story of Jacob back in Genesis 32.

A bit of back story…

Jacob had just returned back to his homeland as the Lord had instructed him to do. As soon as he got there, he sent a few of his men to take a peace-offering to his brother, Esau, who lived nearby.

You see, there was some bad blood between Jacob and Esau, mainly because Jacob had cheated Esau out of both his birthright and his blessing. Jacob knew if he was going to live in close proximity to his brother again, it would be wise to attempt to reconcile their relationship.

Shortly after his men went out though, they returned with the following news:

“We met your brother, Esau, and he is already on his way to meet you—with an army of 400 men!” (Genesis 32:6)

Jacob was obviously freaked out by this. His first instinct—as it would be with many of us—was to protect himself and his family from the coming attack. He immediately took action and split his family into two camps so that “If Esau meets one group and attacks it, perhaps the other group can escape” (v. 7).

But then, once Jacob had done everything he could think of to protect himself (and probably recognized the futility of his efforts), he took his fear and concerns before God:

9 Jacob prayed, “O God of my grandfather Abraham, and God of my father, Isaac—O Lord, you told me, ‘Return to your own land and to your relatives.’ And you promised me, ‘I will treat you kindly.’ 10 I am not worthy of all the unfailing love and faithfulness you have shown to me, your servant. When I left home and crossed the Jordan River, I owned nothing except a walking stick. Now my household fills two large camps! 11 O Lord, please rescue me from the hand of my brother, Esau. I am afraid that he is coming to attack me, along with my wives and children. 12 But you promised me, ‘I will surely treat you kindly, and I will multiply your descendants until they become as numerous as the sands along the seashore—too many to count’” (Genesis 32:9-12).

Jacob’s Faith

Jacob begins his prayer by reflecting on the promises God has made to him:

Lord, you told me, “Return to your own land and to your relatives” (v. 9).

You promised me, “I will surely treat you kindly, and I will multiply your descendants until they become as numerous as the sands along the seashore—too many to count” (v. 12).

Jacob remembered how God had not only told him to move to this land, but He promised to take care of him and bless him with many descendants as well—neither of which would come to pass if he and his family were wiped out.

By reflecting back on, and choosing to believe the promises God made to him (faith), Jacob began to rest in the peace of trusting that God would surely get him through this upcoming trial.

Jacob’s Humility

Once Jacob focused his mind onto God’s faithfulness, he began to look back on all the ways God had come through for him already. He reflects on how God has blessed him far beyond what he ever deserved—not because he earned it, but because of God’s unfailing love and faithfulness.

By recognizing how all these blessings in his life had been undeserved gifts of God’s grace, it took his own worthiness, acceptance, and ability out of the equation.

This perspective of humility allowed Jacob to look toward the battle knowing it would be God’s power that would get him through. And trusting God’s strength is far more comforting than relying on his own.

Jacob’s Request

Finally, after pausing to reflect on God’s perfect track record, Jacob reached out to Him for help. He came to a point where he could truly say “Yes Lord, I believe,” and then asks God to save him as He has promised.

Jacob doesn’t sugar-coat his fear or minimize the situation. He doesn’t use big, fancy, ceremonial words. He doesn’t put on his nicest suit or light some incense. No, he simply comes before God and says, “Lord… Help. I’m scared. I don’t now what to do. I can’t handle this on my own…but You can. Help me… Please.”

And how did God respond? Well, let’s just say He came through on His promises.

How does this help me today?

You may not be facing an invading army, but if you’re hanging around this blog you’re probably being tempted by an enemy who’s just as powerful. The good news though, is the proper response remains the same: When trials come, run to God in prayer.

Remember the promises He has made to you, and the promises you have already seen Him fulfill.

Humbly recognize your brokenness and admit how much you need the power of Christ to get you through your struggles.

If you use Jacob’s prayer as a template, your prayer might look something like this:

Lord, you have promised me that You will never leave me and that You will never condemn me. You have declared that I am now a new creation—no longer a slave to the sin that is tempting me. You have also instructed me to “flee from sexual immorality,” and gave me the power to do so by placing your Spirit within me.

I recognize that I am not worthy of the unfailing love and kindness You have shown me. The gifts You have blessed me with—forgiveness, sonship, eternal life—are far beyond anything I deserve. I am incapable of winning this battle on my own. I need your strength, Lord.

Father, please rescue me from this addiction. Allow me to walk in the freedom you have promised me. Break these chains on me by Your power.

I give this battle to You, Lord. I trust You to lead me into victory as you have promised.

Thank You, Father. Amen.

•••

In the end, Jacob didn’t even have to fight the battle after all. God delivered him so completely it transformed his biggest fear into a celebration.

How great would it be if He did the same for you in your battle?

I, for one, believe that He can.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Weekly Web (W)roundup

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Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Joe Dallas: The Walking Wounded

“If I have any of that in me – any humility, any tenderness, any ability to connect – it sure didn’t come from a book. Or genes, or a seminar. It was born out of the times I was humiliated, passed over, ridiculed, rejected. The only reason I can say ‘I’ve been there’ to anyone else is because I have, and it wasn’t good. But dear Lord, did it ever turn out to be priceless.”

Stand to Reason: The Myth of Hate

“I realize I don’t speak for every Christian, but I know and have met a lot of Christians across the country. I’ve been travelling and specifically talking about this topic for over a decade. I’ve met Baptists, Lutherans, Catholics, Coptics, Presbyterians, Evangelicals, Seventh Day Adventists, Mennonites, Methodists, Anabaptists, Anglicans, Episcopalians, Orthodox, and others. Guess what? I don’t find they hate homosexuals. In fact, they’re often frustrated that no one believes them that they, as Christ commanded, love all people.”

Redemption Pictures: After Three Beers

“I want to be the person that I am after three beers. After three beers, I am unafraid. I dance without thinking about how I look, without trying to remember what my feet should be doing…”

Jefferson Bethke: Porn—Human Trafficking at Your Finger Tips

You Have a Secure Future

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).

Who You are In ChristChances are, you’ve at least considered the thought that God may have had big plans for you once. But not anymore. That ship has sailed.

Maybe it’s because of something you did in the past, or something that was done to you. Perhaps it’s the accumulated effects of all the shame and guilt that come with addiction. Either way, you look at the path your life has taken and believe the lie that God can no longer use you.

You must realize though, nothing from your past will ever be bad enough to disqualify you from the amazing future God has planned for you. Just look at God’s prophecies to the Israelites through Jeremiah.

For the first 28 chapters of the book, God lays out a list of all the ways the Israelites have turned away from Him. There’s adultery and idolatry. They’ve listened to false prophets and allowed paganism to corrupt their worship. The entire nation has hardened their hearts toward God and rejected His ways.

As a consequence for these sins, God has allowed them to be taken into exile by the Babylonians. But even then, He doesn’t give up on them.

In the twenty-ninth chapter, God encourages His people to not lose heart even while they remain in captivity. He calls them to set their eyes back on Him and warns them to not be deceived again. He encourages them that this period of exile will not last forever, and that He hasn’t forgotten them.

Then, in the midst of one of the lowest points in Israel’s history, God makes this stunning promise to them:

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).

No matter how far the Israelites strayed from God, they would always be welcomed back into His good plan once they chose to trust Him again. And it’s no different with you and me.

Regardless of where you have been, God still has a plan for you.

A plan with a future.

A plan full of hope.


This has been a repost from the archives.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Smart Quote: Bono

“A heart that is broken is a heart that is open.” —Bono

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Always Grace: A Poem about Being Loved in the Midst of Our Failures.

Grover CannonI’d like to introduce you all to my friend, and our newest contributor, Grover Cannon.

Grover spent more than a decade running from God with his finger in the air, trying to find happiness through outlaw motorcycle gangs, strip clubs, and heavy drinking. He was contemplating pulling the trigger on his own life when God got ahold of him, showing him how much he was loved even in the midst of his rebellion. Today, Grover preaches the love of Christ to everyone he meets and has one of the most personal relationships with Jesus I’ve ever witnessed.

Grover processes his walk with God through some of the most raw and heart-felt poetry I’ve read. Recently, I asked him if he would be willing to share some of these poems with all of you. As you can see, he agreed.

So, each month, I will post a new poem by Grover. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. In fact, if you really enjoy a certain poem, just click the image at the bottom and you will be able to print your own PDF poster to hang up wherever you wish.

If you want to contact Grover, you can reach him at [email protected].


Always Grace

Can you live with out His grace?
Can you walk with out His peace?
Can you understand one letter of His written Word
without first knowing His work on the cross?
What He has done for you…
The way He has loved you…
The freedom He has created you to walk in…

Do you know how to give it over?
Do you know how to turn to God and give in?
Can you close your eyes, take a breath, and submit?

We focus so hard on works, striving, struggling…
just trying to breathe for one more step.
We work so hard.
Constantly falling
Always stumbling
Forever failing
Letting our logic follow our pride
down the rabbit trails of struggle and strife.

We get so lost along the way.
We just can’t understand how it is possible
to even consider success.

It’s so easy to believe that we must do
We need to work
We need to strive
We need to keep pounding our heads
against the walls until we get it right.

We just can’t comprehend His love through our failures,
through our lack of success.
We feel Him slipping away.
We know His anger and doom are pending,
moving like a storm in the sky because
we never get it right.

If we could only see His grace for what it really is.
His love that gently embraces us in the night.
The way He sees our failures yet still wraps His arms around us.

He loves us so much.

We so need desperately to change our opinion of Abba God
from the angry, punishing, pissed-off father to the true view:

A God who is broken…
Weeping…
Forever saying I love you.
Because He does love you…
And will love you…
Standing by your side…

Always.


Click the image below to download a printable PDF poster of this poem:

Always Grace

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Gospel Coalition: How to Change Your Mind

“The beginning of a New Year is an an excellent time to try something new. As you make your list of resolutions and goals I want to recommend adding a simple four step process that could transform your life by, quite literally, changing your mind.”

Garrett Kell: What Would Jesus Say to Someone Like Leelah Alcorn?

“It is heart-wrenching to know that a young person was so overwhelmed with pain that their only response was to stop living. That should mean something. Whether you’re LBGT, Christian, liberal, conservative, religious or otherwise—we are humans and a tragedy like this should lead us to stop, weep, pray, and take notice.”

CovenantEyes: Praying for My Porn Addict Husband

“Josh woke up that morning and started crying uncontrollably; he had no idea why. But the one overwhelming thought in his mind was this: Is it too late for me to come home?”

CovenantEyes: Should You Date a Man Who Struggles with Porn?

“Jessica met Brad through a young professionals group at her church and had been going out with him for several weeks. One evening while having coffee with Brad, he confessed to her that he currently struggles with pornography and is trying really hard to stop.”