Get your free copy of 10 Lies Men Believe about Porn!

10 Lies Men Believe about PornI just received a generous donation to my ministry and was asked to use it to give away 250 copies of my book, 10 Lies Men Believe about Porn, for free.

All you need to do is go to my online store and use the code 10LIESFREE. That will save you $14.99 on your order, which is the full cost of the book.

Unfortunately, I am not able to offer  international shipping at this time, so this offer is only good in the US.

If you have any questions, feel free to let me know. —Stephen

Smart Quote: John Bradford

“Faith must first go before, and then feeling will follow.” —John Bradford

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Weekly Web (W)roundup


Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share. Let Go of Shame

“Letting go of shame is important because shame leads only to destructive places. Shame keeps us focused on how bad we feel about ourselves, and thus less aware and open to others. Shame keeps us immobilized because it is based in the belief that we are hopelessly beyond help. Shame pushes us to isolate because we feel too exposed. Shame feels so terrible that it opens the door to rage. We cannot stand to feel so terrible so we lash out at ourselves and we lash out at others.

Wm. Paul Young: An Invitation to a Different Kind of Conversation

“Here are some thoughts as we work toward crafting a free and safe space, to interact and tell our stories. These are lessons I’ve learned about how to interact with each other freely, and I’d like you to ponder them, should you have the time and inclination.

Gospel Coalition: 10 Things Singles in Romantic Relationships Ought to Know

“It’s not bad to want to have sex with your significant other. It’d be another sort of worry if you didn’t. The key is to want to glorify Christ more than you want to have sex with each other.

CovenantEyes: 10 Amazing Resources for Talking to Children About Porn

“Talking to kids about porn sounds, at the very least, like an awkward conversation. But never before have their been so many good resources to help parents talk to their kids about this critical topic.”

Pete Wilson: Is There Really Grace For Sexual Sin?

Announcing my new book: “Done.” (Plus, vote for your favorite cover!)

Guess what? I wrote another book, and this one doesn’t have the word Porn emblazoned in giant red letters on the cover, so you should be way more comfortable reading it in public or giving it to your Grandmother.

Done Covers

The new book is called DONE. 52 Amazing Things that Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ. You can read more about it below, but first, I need your help choosing which design to use for the cover.

I’ve created three options, and I like all of them. However, I’m much more concerned with which one you like the best. So if you could take 30 seconds to vote for your favorite design, I would greatly appreciate it.

Plus, if you enter your email at the end of the survey (which is totally optional), I’ll let you know the day the book comes out this summer. You’ll want in on that for sure, because it’s going to be COMPLETELY FREE for the first 30 days only.

Vote for your favorite cover here!


From the back cover:

Who Do You Think You Are?

If you’re anything like most people, your initial response to that question is probably your job title. After that, you may list off your age, how many kids you have, or perhaps even your hobbies. Those things may all be true about you, but they don’t define you. In order to discover the truth about who you really are, you need to ask the One who created you.

Who Does God Say You Are?

Done unpacks 52 key verses from God’s Word to help you discover His answer to the question of your identity. Each verse will help you to understand more deeply the truth of who you became the moment you trusted Christ.

You are Loved with an Everlasting Love

You Have Been Set Free from All Condemnation

You are Welcome in God’s Presence

The best part is, Done won’t give you a list of things you need to change in yourself. It will, however, help you discover the full depth of what God has already changed in you. That’s right, these changes are already done.

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature;
the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”

—2 Corinthians 5:17—

Don’t forget to vote for your favorite cover!

You Have Become a Member of Christ’s Body

 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it (1 Corinthians 12:27).

Who You are In Christ

I’m convinced the 1980s were the golden decade for cartoons. Feel free to argue with me on that, but you probably won’t change my mind. Now, I can admit, my opinion may be tainted with the bias of personal nostalgia, but you have to admit there were some pretty awesome classics back then.

My personal favorite, hands-down, was Voltron. Five kids, each with their own giant robotic lion, who would combine together to form the massive robot, Voltron. Every episode followed the same basic template—a bad guy shows up, the kids try to battle him as individual lions, realize they’re overmatched, and then finally combine forces as Voltron to save the day.

This same basic template has shown up in multiple cartoon series even to this day. Transformers (a close second to Voltron in my mind) had multiple iterations of these “combiners”: Devastator (formed from the five Constructicons), Defensor (formed from the five Protectobots), and the impressive Predaking (formed from the five Predacons). Even the long-running Power Rangers series with their “Megazord” was clearly inspired by (IE: ripped-off) the Voltron template as well.

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed over the years though, it’s that these shows I loved so deeply as a boy spoke to me for a reason. More often than not, it’s because they awakened something inside of me that God had put there for a reason. In the case of Voltron, it’s this idea that we’re all given an important role to play as part of a larger team—God’s team.

The moment you trusted Jesus, you became part of the body of Christ. You may not have received a giant robotic lion, but you were made into the hands and feet of Jesus. In other words, He wants to use you as the instrument through which He does good works in this world, and for you to be His tangible representation to everyone you meet.

Practically speaking, this means that instead of merely praying for peace in the world and wondering why God isn’t answering that prayer, perhaps you should consider whether He’s put that particular desire on your heart because He’s chosen you to do something about it. Maybe He wants to use you as His arms to deliver a loving embrace to your city or family.

I can tell you one thing for sure—God didn’t save you so you could just sit there in your robotic lion and watch 80s cartoons while the body of Christ functions without you. Anytime Voltron went into battle even one lion short, it didn’t end well—at least not until everyone was able to contribute and the body was whole once again.

Luckily, the body of Christ doesn’t have any paralyzed limbs either. As long as you show up, you’ll be given all the power and energy you will need to do whatever He calls you to do. Your life now flows from the same source that’s been empowering countless generations of believers to change the world through His love.

So don’t settle for being a mere spectator. As a member of Christ’s body, you’re now part of the team. You may be the green lion, or perhaps you’re the red one. Either way, the body can’t function as well without you.

So get off the couch and get in the game. We need you.


This has been a repost from the archives.

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My One Thing: David Zailer

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give
to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

David Zailer is the Executive Director for Operation Integrity and author of the books Our Journey Home and When Lost Men Come Home (not for men only).

Connect with David:

Facebook: Operation Integrity

Twitter: @opintegrity



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Smart Quote: Rob Bell

“Whatever it is that has its hooks in you, you will never be free from it until you find something you want more. It’s not about getting rid of desire. It’s about giving ourselves to bigger and better and more powerful desires." —Rob Bell

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Weekly Web (W)roundup


Each week, I round up the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.

Relevant: Churches Need to Stop Avoiding Talking About Sexual Abuse

“There’s freedom and healing in being able to share our stories—even stories that are difficult. Churches should be places that foster this kind of openness, not places of judgment that make victims feel like they can’t be vulnerable and honest about their pasts.

Christianity Today: Why “Don’t Do It” Doesn’t Work

“In addition to emphasizing the ‘Don’ts’ of sexuality, we have often focused on the potential pitfalls: unplanned pregnancies, potential diseases, emotional and psychological trauma, and the likelihood that someone who has sex outside of marriage is less likely to remain faithful in a marriage. These potential consequences are real, but they’re heard by young people as mere scare tactics to keep them in line.

Dale Ryan: If your god is not God, fire him

“There is a difference—sometimes an enormous difference—between the God of our doctrinal statements and the god we live with every day. Our theological convictions may be thoroughly orthodox, but we may actually serve a god who is quick to anger and slow to forgive. Or a god who shames his followers. Or a god who is punitive and rejecting.

DesiringGod: The Dead End of Sexual Sin

“Conversion brought with it a train wreck of contradictory feelings, ranging from liberty to shame. Conversion also left me confused. While it was clear that God forbade sex outside of biblical marriage, it was not clear to me what I should do with the complex matrix of desires and attractions, sensibilities and senses of self that churned within and still defined me.”

xxxChurch: Brittni’s Story about the Bible

Your Value Has Been Confirmed by God

God bought you with a high price… (1 Corinthians 6:20)

Who You are In Christ

I’m not typically one to get excited about reality TV, but I’ll admit I can watch Pawn Stars for hours. There’s just something fascinating about seeing the random stuff people bring in, and even more so seeing them haggle about what it’s worth.

For example, one guy brought in a box full of sunken treasure. Full-on rupees that had rusted together after being at the bottom of the sea for a hundred years or so. As it turns out, they were authentic and (supposedly) worth over $700k.

Or, on the other end of the spectrum, one kid brought in a pair of 20-year-old Air Jordan shoes in mint condition expecting to get a few hundred bucks out of them. After a bit of investigation they ended up being rerelease throwbacks from 2009. Final value: $75 – about $50 less than what they retailed for originally.

That’s what makes this show so much fun though, the fact that you never know who’s going to come through the door and what they’re going to have to sell. Even the people bringing things in often have no idea what it’s actually worth.

Now, imagine if someone brought you in as their item to sell at the pawn shop. How would that conversation go? For me, I expect it would go something like this:

Seller: I’ve got a standard issue Oregonian, native, probably made sometime around the early-80s. He’s in decent shape other than starting to show some wear spots on the top of his head.

Buyer: Interesting. What were you hoping to get from him?

Seller: I was thinking $200.

Buyer: I don’t know man. We see a lot of these. Plus, look here: he’s clearly got some issues. I see signs of some messed-up junk in his past so there’s probably some baggage from that. And see that…the guy has some lingering issues with selfishness and pride. You’d think by this age those would have worn off of him but apparently not this guy. The best I can do is $10.

After all, isn’t that what these guys do? They point out every flaw and look for any reason they can find to haggle the price lower. They’re not interested in confirming its value, they only want to reduce how much they need to pay for it.

Aren’t you glad God doesn’t look at us that way? This verse in 1 Corinthians reminds us of how God would respond if someone offered to sell you to Him: He’d buy you without question. Not only that, He’d pay the highest price for you, fully confirming your worth and value.

How can we know that’s what He would do?

Because that’s exactly what He already did.

So the next time you feel flawed, worthless, or wonder if you even matter to God, remember how valuable you are truly are: valuable enough that God bought you from the enemy at the cost of His Son’s life.

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My One Thing: Shellie R. Warren

“What’s the one piece of advice you would give
to someone struggling with porn addiction?”

Shellie R. Warren is a Writer/Author/Marriage Life Coach/Doula and an all-around awesome lady. She doesn’t do social media by design, so the best way to get ahold of her is through email.

Connect with Shellie:

Email: [email protected]

Blog: “On Fire” Fast Movement



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Smart Quote: Dallas Willard

“Grace is not opposed to effort, it is opposed to earning. Earning is an attitude. Effort is an action. Grace, you know, does not just have to do with forgiveness of sins alone.” ―Dallas Willard

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.