Interview on the Dustin Daniels Show, Part 2

Interview MicPart 2 of my interview on the Dustin Daniels show went live yesterday.

We talked about a lot of topics:

  • The difference between belief and faith.
  • Why so many people are walking away from Christianity.
  • What it might mean if you feel God isn’t coming through for you.

Go ahead and give it a listen.

If you have questions or comments related to the show, just hit me up in the comments below.

Thanks!

Smart Quote: Timothy Keller

“The mark of the godly man is he likes to change. The mark of the godly man is he says, ‘Lord, show me where I should change, and I’ll do it. Show me where I should obey, even where it’s hard, and I’ll do it.’” —Timothy Keller

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Why Isn’t God Coming Through for Me?

10 Lies Men Believe about PornThis post has been adapted from the chapter, “Lie #7: God Can Set Others Free from Pornography Addiction, but Not Me,” in my new book, 10 Lies Men Believe about PornThis post is part 3 in an 8-week series on life-changing faith. If you would like to begin at part 1, you can do that here.

Growing-Faith-1024x819When God calls you to do something that requires tremendous trust—to “take a leap of faith” as we sometimes say—He isn’t doing it to test your ability to generate faith. He is doing it to offer you an opportunity to receive more faith. The more you trust Him, the more He allows your faith to grow.

This makes sense when you think about it. God has perfect knowledge, power over everything, and wants only what is best for you—so you can be confident He will never let you down or lose control of any situation. He will never fail you or leave you hanging. Every time you trust Him, He will come through for you. It may not be in the way you were expecting or hoping for, but it will always be for your best. When you experience His trustworthiness in your life over and over, it becomes easier to trust Him when He calls you to exercise faith in the future—not because of your ability to trust, but because of His unblemished track record.

But if you don’t trust God’s unconditional love for you, you will never be confident that He really is acting in your best interest. You will always be questioning His trustworthiness based on whether you feel you have been good enough to earn it or not. You will weigh everything He calls you to do on an imaginary continuum: Is God calling me to do this to better me, or to punish me? You will only trust Him to the degree that you understand how much He loves you, which is why having a proper understanding of His grace is key for life-changing faith to even be a possibility.

You can be certain, however, that God does love you—no matter how messed up you may feel—and everything He calls you to do is for your benefit. The more you trust in this truth, the more your faith will grow. Eventually, you will come to realize that you really can trust everything Jesus promises to be true—even for you—no matter how illogical or unbelievable it may seem. The blessings of the faith you read about in the Bible will become increasingly real to you, not because you have suddenly earned them or deserve them more, but because you are finally trusting them to be true.

Over the next four weeks, we will look at a few of these blessings and see how trusting Jesus determines whether we experience them in our lives or not.

Continue to Part 4: If Jesus Promises Me Rest, Why am I so Burnt Out?

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I roundup the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


XXXChurch: Are We Free To Screw Up? 

“We have long had a policy where X3group leaders needed to be sober for a minimum of one year before they could take over a group. We recently interviewed someone to become a leader, and though all his references came back sparkling and I personally vouched for this guy, in his honest interview he told us he’d looked at porn four months earlier.”

Christianity Today: Should there be room for Christians to ‘mess up’ in their walk of faith?

“An interesting conversation around the recovery from porn and sexual addiction has been going on over at the XXXChurch.com blog these last few days.”

The Village Church: Jesus Said to Leave Her Alone

“Men have a propensity to join in when women are being mocked or exploited. Men tend to stand by and not ‘rock the boat’ when those around us are engaged in offensive language or actions. But godly men must intercede when an opportunity arises to exercise our God-given charge to care for others.”

Carrollton: Holding On To You

Part 2 of My Interview on the ASI247 Podcast

Interview MicLast weekend I cruised back up to Seattle to record the second part of my interview with Russ Shaw on the ASI247 podcast.

We covered the remainder of the 10 Lies Men Believe about Porn, focusing mainly on the important (and often misunderstood) necessity of forgiveness if we want to walk in true freedom. We also spent some time talking about the story behind my book, and how God doesn’t want us to shut down our desire, He wants to redeem it for the good of His kingdom.

Listen to the show here.

If you have questions or comments related to the show, just hit me up in the comments below.

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

In Christ, You Have the Promise of Life

This letter is from Paul, chosen by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus. I have been sent out to tell others about the life He has promised through faith in Christ Jesus (2 Timothy 1:1).

Who You are In Christ

The Apostle Paul knew his calling was to tell others about the life that is promised to those who put their faith in Christ.

But what exactly is Paul talking about when he says “Life.”

The way I look at it, there are two ways to interpret Paul’s use of the word “life” in this context.

On one hand, we could read this as Paul saying “Here’s what your day-to-day life will look like for you if you chose to follow Jesus.”

If this were the message God wanted to communicate to the world through a man though, don’t you think He would have chosen someone other than Paul?

Seriously, take a look at Paul’s life:

I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm (2 Corinthians 11:23–27).

Prison… Beatings… Shipwrecks… Sleeplessness… 

I’m pretty sure nobody is going to voluntarily sign up for a life like Paul’s…not unless there’s something attached to it so amazing that it makes all these hardships pale in comparison.

Ah, but there is something attached to it:

The life of Christ living within you.

Eternal life.

This is the life that Paul is talking about.

You see, Paul’s calling wasn’t to tell others how Jesus wanted to change their day-to-day lives. His calling was to help them see their need for the eternal life of Christ to redeem their hearts (which would give them the power to thrive within their day-to-day lives).

Hopefully you won’t ever find yourself shipwrecked or starving, but if you do, rest in the fact that the same life of Christ that dwelled in Paul dwells in you as well.

Which means when your day-to-day life gets hard, you can do more than simply try to survive…you can thrive.

How has the life of Christ empowered you to endure hardships in your life?

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Smart Quote: Paul Tripp

“You will face loss, trouble and disappointment, but nothing has the power to separate you from your Redeemer's unrelenting love.” —Paul David Tripp

Thoughts on this quote? Feel free to discuss them in the comments below.

Do You Truly Believe what You Think You Believe?

10 Lies Men Believe about PornThis post has been adapted from the chapter, “Lie #7: God Can Set Others Free from Pornography Addiction, but Not Me,” in my new book, 10 Lies Men Believe about PornThis is part 2 in an 8-week series on life-changing faith. If you would like to begin at part 1, you can do that here.

We often think the key to following Jesus is simply to believe in Him. But if belief were all that mattered, even the demons would be saved. The demons may believe in God, but they don’t trust Him. They don’t have faith—an absolute trust that everything the Word of God says is true.

f5ce46a82328374df452366234e31d2aA well-known story tells of a tightrope walker entertaining a crowd at Niagara Falls. At first, he simply walked across a cable strung above the waterfall, but as the crowd grew, he continued to up the stakes. He did a lap while juggling and another lap blindfolded. He even rode a bike across the line. The crowd watched in amazement, wondering what he would attempt next.

As he returned back to the side of the river where many had gathered to watch, he got off his bike and pulled out a wheelbarrow. He then turned to address the crowd.

“Do you believe I can walk across this tightrope without falling?”

“Yes!” roared the crowd.

“Do you believe I can walk across this tightrope while pushing this wheelbarrow?”

“We do!” they yelled.

“Do you believe I can walk across this tightrope while pushing this wheelbarrow with someone riding in it?”

The crowd went nuts. They couldn’t wait to see this trick.

“Then who would like to volunteer to be my rider?”

Silence.

Every person in the crowd may have believed he could do it, but no one was willing to trust him by getting into the wheelbarrow. So in reality, even though they said they believed he could do it, their lack of trust proved they didn’t.

This distinction is important to understand: What you say you believe is not necessarily what you do believe. Even what you think you believe may not be what you truly believe. What you do and what you trust are what exposes your true beliefs. In this way, faith is belief that is backed by trust and therefore results in action.

Everybody has faith in something. For many, it’s faith in their own wisdom or abilities. For others, it’s faith in a religion or in rituals. But if your true faith isn’t in Jesus, it will never result in a changed life. That’s because faith is only as strong as its object, and the only “object” that has the power to change you is Jesus.

•••

We see this misplaced faith in the Pharisees all throughout the Gospels. These men trusted in their knowledge of the Scriptures and their ability to follow the Law to give them life. They studied the Scriptures diligently, but when they met Jesus, they refused to take the next step by putting their faith in Him:

You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want (John 5:39–40 MSG)

These men believed the Scriptures, but when Jesus asked them to trust in Him to find the life they were looking for, they chose not to get in the wheelbarrow.

Just like these Pharisees, if you believe in Jesus but don’t trust Him enough to do what He’s asking you to do, you will keep looking for other things to make you feel like you are actually following Him. But you will miss out on the blessings of knowing Christ. Not because His blessings are not true, but because you are looking for ways to receive them without actually trusting Him.

 

Many people interpret this lack of blessing
as a sign that Jesus isn’t working for them.
In reality, it’s a sign that they aren’t trusting
in Him—they are still trusting in themselves.

 

Please don’t interpret this as a call to buck up and try harder. You may be thinking, I just need to work up some more faith! I need to follow God’s rules better! These may sound like the righteous things to do, but by doing them you would be putting your faith back on yourself and your own ability to please God. None of us will ever be able to generate more faith on our own, though, because faith is a gift that God gives to you.

So if you feel the need for more faith, don’t try to muster it up on your own. Pray like the man who approached Jesus, asking Him to free his son from demonic oppression:

“I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).

 

Continue to Part 3: Why Isn’t God Coming Through for Me?

10 Lies Men Believe about Porn Preview

Interview on the Dustin Daniels Show

Interview MicI’m excited to announce the first part of my interview on the Dustin Daniels show just went live online, a full day before it airs on the radio.

We talked about a lot of topics:

  • How hiding my porn addiction and pretending to be a “good christian” caused way more harm than good.
  • How my attempts to protect myself were actually contributing to my bondage.
  • How the majority of guys I’ve met who struggle with porn are believing the same lies.
  • How these lies can still cause damage even though they aren’t true.

Go ahead and give it a listen.

If you have questions or comments related to the show, just hit me up in the comments below.

Thanks!

Weekly Web (W)roundup

weekly_roundup-img-640x290

Each week, I roundup the best resources, articles, and videos I find that are relevant to finding freedom from porn addiction. Please note that by posting a link here it does not mean I agree with everything in the linked article. It just means I found it interesting enough to share.


Covenant Eyes: Destroying Porn Addiction Starts with Destroying Shame 

“Destroying porn addiction starts when we choose to confront the shame we feel around it. We must choose to come out of hiding, confess our struggle with others, and build safeguards that prevent us from hiding ever again.”

Fierce Marriage: 4 Surprising Facets of Transparency in Marriage

“When we talk about transparency, the response is nearly unanimous: it’s a vital part of marriage and relationships. You really can’t build a meaningful bond with your spouse if you’re hiding part of yourself. But most often, hiding is our first instinct.”

Gospel Coalition: Mutual Confession—A Holy Experiment

“Our secrets are usually secret for good reason. Our secrets are the worst of ourselves. Our secrets are foibles, faults, and harmful follies that have pierced the hearts of others, and far worse, the heart of God himself. Many times, our greatest secrets conceal our gravest sins.”

TrueFaced: Very First Moment